As their marriage unraveled, Jon and Kate Gosselin always insisted on one thing: They would make sure their kids got through it all unscathed. But that couldn't be further from reality. In an exclusive interview, the family's former nanny Stephanie Santoro tells Life & Style the children have been devastated by their parents' bitter breakup -- and the end of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Cara, one of the couple's 9-year-old twins, "used to sit and cry to me that she didn't understand and thought it was her fault," says Stephanie. "I would always tell her, 'It's not your fault, it's just something that happened. Mommy and Daddy will tell you more.'" But Jon and Kate can't even stomach being around each other. As a result, their kids -- twins Cara and Mady, and the 5-year-old sextuplets -- have been left confused and traumatized. "Some of the younger children once asked me, 'Are you going to be our new mommy?'" Stephanie says. "They don't know better."

And the children are also coping with the loss of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 crew in the wake of Jon's unilateral decision to shut down the show. "Kate says the kids miss the crew," says Stephanie. "They grew up around them and loved interacting with the crew. I'm sure the kids are devastated."

For more on the Gosselins, pick up the latest issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now!

Photo Credit: Courtesy of TLC