Bachelor Pad's witty meteorologist reports his weekly predictions to Life & Style.
Hi, it's the Weatherman (a.k.a. Jonathan Novack) from Bachelor Pad! If you remember, Ali sent me home in New York City on this past season of The Bachelorette. If you don't remember, I like long walks on the beach, wearing white jackets and battling with Craig M.
One thing we Bachelors and Bachelorettes are always looking for is the truth, right? Well, this week, there is more truth than this group can handle. But then again, the truth is ever-changing on Bachelor Pad. Now that the Outsiders have been thinned out, the couples are pretty much running the game. It's worrisome when Elizabeth and Kovacs are considered a "power couple"... I pray they never run a company I have stock in!
Since week two, the couples have been a huge target, but no one can seem to pull the trigger! The remaining Outsiders are working on their tans more than their bank accounts. Remember, people: Tans fade! As we head into the last couple of weeks, I'm guessing the couples will have no choice but to turn on each other. And someone is going to lose a fake nail!
That said, I've recently discovered that my weatherman skills give me the specific ability to forecast next week's events on the show, and I'll be here to provide a weekly report. Like any weatherman, I can't guarantee the accuracy of this forecast, so keep that in mind. (Also, you'll find no spoilers here!)
Peyton and Jesse B. have a love child that eventually unites the entire world with funnel cakes and martinis.
"Chopping block" will be said another 12,350 times.
There will be another survey in which Dave will win for best boob job.
House mom Nikki will refuse to cook, and famine will run rampant through the mansion.
Natalie will finally reveal her secret relationship with Dave...and Kovacs...and Kiptyn...and Bill in the mansion next door.
Elizabeth is finally voted off when her deal with the devil runs out.
Ashley and Gwen decide to unite and form a full sentence.
All this will happen next week (probably not) on the sizzling show of the summer, Bachelor Pad!
Follow the Weatherman at twitter.com/Jonathan_Novack.
