And the truth is out! Jef Holm — who became close with Arie Luyendyk Jr., 36, after besting him to win Emily Maynard’s season of The Bachelorette in 2012 — tells Life & Style he cut ties with Arie four years ago because Arie was so “calculated.”

“I have texts from 2012 and 2013 where he says, ‘I want to be the Bachelor, I think it would be a good move for me,’ ” Jef exclusively told Life & Style at the Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man red carpet at Paris Las Vegas. (One text he showed a Life & Style reporter reads, “I would love if you helped my case to be the Bachelor. I’m in a good place and I would love to do it and the meeting went really well.”)

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“The best Bachelors and Bachelorettes are the people that are living their best life and are in a really good place to find love and start a relationship,” Jef explains, “but when it’s a calculated move like that, it’s just not something I want to get behind.”

“He never made it seem like he had any intention of getting married. He wants to be in the spotlight and stay as relevant as possible for as long as possible,” a friend of Arie’s tells Life & Style. “He knows being the Bachelor will keep the paychecks and the opportunities coming.” In the end, Jef says, “I decided that I don’t want to have people like that who are close to me.”

For the full story, including quotes from Arie’s friends, pick up the new issue of Life & Style, on stands now!