Remember Jennifer Lawrence falling at the Oscars for the second time? Well that girl, who she grabbed onto in the midst of another embarrassing moment, was her date for the night—Laura Simpson.
“My date eats sh*t and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad up do to break her fall,” Simpson, Jennifer’s best friend of seven years, notes two days after attending Hollywood’s biggest award night.
“There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible.”
Even though Simpson felt like a nobody walking the red carpet, the time she spent mingling with the stars was where being the Oscar winner’s date actually mattered.
In a MySpace blog, the girl “in the huge [Dior] dress” recounts how Jessica Biel held the bathroom door open for her, how Margot Robbie showed Laura her ‘Kardashian-sized diamond ring’ and how Channing Tatum picked up her fallen purse.
While watching the ceremony from behind the camera’s crane might not have been as glamorous as it seemed, Laura adds that later on, she got to watch the ceremony in the greenroom with the winners and presenters—which was a whole other story.
Get the Oscars Look!: Recreate the Red Carpet Looks of Award-Winning Stars Like Jennifer Lawrence and Sandra Bullock
“My dress gets caught on Jennifer Garner and we awkwardly laugh and someone tries to separate us,” Laura says. “The lovely pregnant Kerry Washington asks me if she could have the Slim Jim in my purse.”
The Scandal actress might have won Laura’s vote for ‘Most Impressive’ of the night, but it was Brad Pitt who won ‘Best Smelling’.
“Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I've ever smelled,” she says about meeting Brad and Angelina Jolie backstage. “Eventually we ask what cologne he's wearing and he tells us, 'I don't wear cologne, it's just my musk I guess.'”
Laura Simpson stands aside watching her BFF take the spotlight. "Unless you're famous" the photogs want nothing to do with you.
The after-party at Vanity Fair was where, of course, the biggest stars ended their night. But, Laura felt differently: “No one gives a sh*t that you are a human being unless you're famous.”
Maybe, except for Bradley Cooper, who she reportedly dated last year and Bill Murray, who she decided to follow around.
“At one point he looks in my direction and winks at me while dancing to If You Want My Body and Do You Think I'm Sexy by Rod Stewart—a moment, I now realize, my whole life had been leading up to,” Laura notes about The Monuments Men actor.
Oscars 2014: Jennifer Lawrence, Lupita Nyong'o and 8 More Stars Jump Into Ellen DeGeneres' Most Epic Selfie
The “exhausting, overwhelming and surreal” experience finally ended at Guy Oseary's party.
“Before I leave, Rachel Zoe grabs my arm and tells me I look 'mage' (if you don't know her lingo, that's short for major and the highest compliment you can receive),” Laura adds.
“At that point I realize my night is not going to get any better so we decide to end it before we all get sloppy and sweat off our makeup.”
Your life just got exponentially better and more stylish now you've signed up for our newsletter. Fabulousness awaits!