<p><span></span>Finally, a little bit of drama in this episode. Yahtzee! I admit that I am your typical reality-show junkie. Let's face it, we junkies get a kick out of watching and laughing at extreme personalities. They are both real and unreal at the same time, like caricatures. But more important, we can agree that we love the drama, right? However, I have to say that I think this season of <em>The Bachelorette</em> with <strong>Emily Maynard</strong> is quite possibly changing my mind as to why I watch reality tv.</p>
First one-on-one went to Chris. He seems like a good egg, but I found myself staring at the TV and feeling nothing. Luckily, Emily embraces the goodness in everyone, so I knew he would be safe this time around. I was more frustrated at the fact that when Emily was paralyzed with fear, Chris thought his brief glances would calm her nerves. These are the times you get to touch Emily! Who doesn't want to touch Emily? Oh, Chris. The only part I did enjoy watching was when Emily told Chris she wouldn't feel comfortable approaching him at a bar.
<p>Let's move to the inevitable group date. Can I just preface that I despise group dates? To be clearer, I hate going on group dates. But they sure are fun to watch because they bring out a different side to everyone. We all know what it did to me. Yep, crybaby. Let's recap the boys:</p>
"Wolf": Deer caught in headlights.
Sean: Mister Rogers meets Hulk Hogan.
Ryan: Can't you see Ryan singing to himself, " I don't play football [anymore] but I touchdown everywhere, everywhere."
Michael: Either Emily's presence makes him pull the Houdini card or he's being edited out of the show completely.
Jef: He needs to think more like Zuckerberg and have the mentality, I'm CEO, bitch!
Tony: I have a soft spot for sweet Tony. But like Doug said, "Five-year-olds have an attention span like a hummingbirds'."
Doug: He's doing swell. Doug, you can cancel your membership at singleparentmeet.com.
Stevie: He can beat box his way out of here. And I'm pretty sure he did.
Alessandro: Incest is not a conversation starter.
Alejandro: Alejandro, Alejandro, I have no idea who you are.
All right, Arie "Where Did You Come From" Luyendyk. You're up next. Seriously dude, where did you come from? I do find that some of the romantic moments on The Bachelorette can be somewhat cheesy. But at this point in the episode, I put down my popcorn and was mesmerized by the TV. Not just mesmerized, but I honestly felt a tear roll down my cheek multiple times during their date. I don't care that it's that time of the month; I kind of want an Arie in my life.
Moving right along to the rose ceremony. Unfortunately, people gotta hit the road. This episode, there were three: Tony, Alessandro and Stevie.
And The Bachelorette wouldn't be The Bachelorette without a recap of "No he didn't just say that" quotes of the night:
Ryan: "I would have a problem if you got lazy and fat. I would still love you, but I wouldn't love on you as much."
I get Ryan's personality, so I would have laughed, but knowing the kind of girl Emily is, she's probably thinking, You're done.
Kalon: "I love it when you talk. I just wish you'd let me finish."
Competition is not the name of his game. He may think it is, but it kind of brings an ugly side out of him. He still makes me laugh, though!
Alessandro: "Being with you would be a compromise for me, having to become a dad."
Why are you on a show trying to find love with a woman who has a kid she puts first in life? Beats me.
Alessandro (again): "Back home I had this long relationship with this girl, she is my cousin. Well, my third cousin. I've had one-night stands. I'm sort of a gypsy. I can't even take care of a pet."
I really hope it's the nerves speaking.
Until next time!
Jenna, The Over-Analyst
P.S. RIP Shelly.
Photo credit: ABC
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