ABC News; Getty
Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to any parent — and Cory Monteith’s mother, Ann McGregor, has had to endure that awful pain over the past year.
In her first interview since losing her 31-year-old son to a drug overdose last July, Ann sat down with ABC News’ Bianna Golodryga for a segment that aired on Good Morning America Thursday morning and opened up about the untimely death of her son.
"The loss is horrendous," she said in the piece, which was filmed in her hometown of Vancouver, British Columbia earlier this week. "Until three days ago I couldn't look at a picture of Cory… So there's been progress."
The heartbreaking interview takes place one year after Cory’s body was found in a Vancouver hotel on July 13, 2013. When asked about the moment she learned of his death, Ann couldn’t speak and had a hard time fighting back tears.
Bianna then asked about Cory’s girlfriend and Glee co-star, Lea Michele, and if the actress stays in touch with her. “I do. She texts me and emails me,” she shared about the 27-year-old brunette beauty. “She’s hurting, too. I see the sadness. I know the pain.”
It turns out Cory may have been thinking about leaving Hollywood behind around the time he passed away, as Ann admitted, “I think he was easing himself out of it.”
But she doesn’t blame his career for his death, explaining it was “his choice” to do what he did.
"[When] Cory was 15, he did a code blue, and I think that was the turning point," she said about an earlier overdose (he eventually went to rehab twice). "He had a lot of emotional things he was trying to figure out — a lot of it was he really wanted a relationship with his father. I think when a child gets invalidated they keep reaching even harder. They want to find out why."
Cory’s father, Joe Monteith, is divorced from Ann and became estranged from the family. He was not invited to his son’s funeral.
Ann admitted she often worried about the disease consuming him, which it eventually did. “I remember after Cory’s first OD, the drive we took and all I did was stare into his eyes, hug him and look at him because I had this feeling I really want to know him because I’m not going to have him my entire life. That was way back then.”
Though nothing will ever take the pain away, his talent will forever live on and it’s something she’ll never forget. “I’m still in awe,” she confided. “I always will be.”
Watch the full interview below: