During the final day of filming in November,_ Life & Style_ has exclusively learned, Nick Viall toyed with the final two women’s hearts on The Bachelor finale — and tortured himself in the process.

In one of the least romantic moves in show history, in­decisive Nick, 36, resorted to writing a list of each la­dy’s pros and cons before popping the question, re­veals an insider.

MORE: What Does Nick From 'The Bachelor' Do? — Get the Details!

“Nick told produc­ers he felt like he was in hell,” says the insider. “He was having a complete breakdown and needed re­assurance on who he was picking.”

via GIPHY

The insider also adds that Nick asked to take a break from film­ing three times to confer with host Chris Harrison and producers about his choice.

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And when it came time to present one woman with a dazzling Neil Lane diamond, “Nick was having mixed emotions,” the insider says of the finale, which was filmed in Finland during frigid temperatures. “He’s in love with both [women].”

For more details of the Bachelor Nick’s proposal, including who the final two women are, pick up the latest issue of Life & Style magazine, on newsstands now!