On this week’s Bachelor in Paradise, serial contestant Chris Bukowski had the audacity to show his face for a fifth time, having previously appeared on The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad, The Bachelorette again and the first season of BIP.

But like last summer, he didn’t stay for long, getting blackout drunk and giving his date card away before ditching the tropical retreat after one day.

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Chris with former Bachelorette Emily Maynard.

The attention-seeking 28-year-old finally apologized for his “obsession” with reality television, telling host Chris Harrison that “every day has been a group date with my own demons.”

He also admitted, “I returned to Bachelor in Paradise in hopes of finding a date to my sister’s wedding. I left without a single memory of my time there.” Classy.

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Chris with fellow Bachelor Pad contestant Sarah Newlon.

But in a much longer explanation on the site RantNOW, the Chicago native admits that his time on the franchise, specifically Bachelor Pad, “almost completely ruined me, my family and my career.”

Chris writes, “I couldn’t believe the hate towards me…I’ll never forget going to my parents’ house and witnessing my dad obsess over all of the stuff being said about me. That show ruined my relationship with my father at the time and created distance between me and my mother.”

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The bar owner, who says he kept coming back to draw in customers, adds, “Constantly being told that I was irrelevant played a major role in my unexpected arrival during Andi [Dorfman’s] season of The Bachelorette.”

He eventually became addicted to anxiety medication and insists that he really did want a “fairytale ending” all along.

“I honestly thought that was realistic for me. And I honestly thought those involved in my television career were ‘looking out for my best interests,'” he reveals. Rookie mistake.