When Andi Dorfman served as ABC’s Bachelorette in 2014, she left contestant Nick Viall in shock by choosing to spend “forever” with former pro athlete Josh Murray. But according to her new memoir, It’s Not Okay, the runner-up’s fate was decided by his antics in the bedroom!

Andi explains that her one and only sexual encounter with the software sales exec happened during their overnight date in the Fantasy Suite. Instead of saying he loved her like she expected, Nick started a game of “Would you rather?” (yep, in the middle of sex!)

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Andi and Nick on The Bachelorette.

“Would you rather make love… or f–k?” he asked a very surprised Andi. “Ummm… make love,” she responded, to which he replied, “Well, if I had four times, I’d like to f–k the first three times and make love the fourth.”

As Andi describes it, that night was the “most cringe-worthy, lady boner-killing, awkward” experience of her life.

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And while she didn’t end up engaged to Nick, her romance with Josh (or Number Twenty-Six as she refers to him in the book) didn’t end so happily ever after either.

For more details on Andi’s reality TV past, order your own copy of It’s Not Okay here!