A Ranking of the Best ‘Real Housewives’ Taglines: From the Best to Most Embarrassing

1) Dorit Kemsley, RHOBH (Best)

Season 8: “I believe in an excess of everything — except moderation!”

Why we love it: Because it’s extra AF! And that’s honestly the main reason we love RHOBH — and Dorit. From her closet full of Birkin bags to her rose gold Bentley, the Beverly Beach by Dorit designer’s life is as luxe as it gets.

2) Ramona Singer, RHONY (Best)

Season 9: “I’m an acquired taste. You don’t like me? Acquire some taste.”

Why we love it: Ramona is unapologetically confident and her Season 9 tagline totally matches her bold personality. It's also the perfect comeback for anyone who’s been sipping too much Haterade.

3) Kandi Burruss, RHOA (Best)

Season 10: “Don't mess with the boss, 'cuz you might get fired!”

Why we love it: While Kandi is not one to throw too much shade, we are living for her low-key dig at former BFF Phaedra Parks. As fans are well aware, the disgraced attorney was fired from the show after she spread a vicious rumor that Kandi drugged co-star Porsha Williams in an attempt to have a threesome with husband Todd Tucker in the couple’s "sex dungeon" — even though it wasn't true. Anything you’d like to say now, Phae?

4) Lisa Vanderpump, RHOBH (Best)

Season 3: “Life isn’t all diamonds and rosé, but it should be.”

Why we love it: Although this tagline isn’t particularly creative, truer words have never been spoken. It’s an idea we can definitely get behind. Because who doesn’t want to live a drunk, sparkly life?

5) Vicki Gunvalson, RHOC (Best)

Season 1: “I don’t wanna get old.”

Why we love it: Solid. Simple. Straight to the point. The OG Housewife knows what’s up.

OK, now we have to talk about the ladies who missed the mark. Though we love, cherish, and adore the following queens, we can’t help but die a little inside when we think about their ill-advised taglines. Here we go…

1) Porsha Williams, RHOA (Worst)

Season 8: “I’m about to give you life, so stay out of my way!”

Why we’re embarrassed for her: Because, like, what does that even mean? You didn’t give us life. You made us cringe.

2) Erika Jayne, RHOBH (Worst)

Season 6: “I’m an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, and cash.”

Why we’re embarrassed for her: Because it legit makes no sense whatsoever. If you look up synonyms for “enigma,” “riddle” is one of the first suggestions. So you’re a riddle wrapped in a riddle? This tagline is a not-so-pretty mess.

3) Claudia Jordan, RHOA (Worst)

Season 7: “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m here to stay.”

Why we’re embarrassed for her: Um, because unfortunately, Claudia wasn’t here to stay. Bravo gave her the boot after just one season. Her tagline game may have been weak, but we’d be lying if we said we didn’t miss her on the show.

4) Kristen Taekman, RHONY (Worst)

Season 6: “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty!”

Why we’re embarrassed for her: Because this is just wrong on all accounts. A) Kristen is a smart cookie, and B) her decision to try and dumb herself down with this atrocious tagline still makes us wince.

5) Alexis Bellino, RHOC (Worst)

Season 5: “God is my savior, my husband is my king, and my body? It’s sinful.”

Why we’re embarrassed for her: All the mixed messaging makes our heads hurt! Plus, our minds immediately go to what she and Jim Bellino do in the bedroom…which is a terrifying thought.