Feeling petty this Valentine's Day? Well, the Bronx Zoo has the perfect idea for those looking to get back at their exes. The New York City institution will let you name a cockroach after your former flame — for a small donation of $15.
The Name-a-Roach program, which started in 2011, is back and allows anyone to name a Madagascar hissing cockroach (are we the only ones having Fear Factor flashbacks?) after your ex, a certain Cheeto-colored politician, or even your current bae — if that's something you're into. According to Time Out, there is also an option to receive a pair of socks with a $35 donation, and if you really want to splurge, $50 will get you a certificate, your choice of the socks or a roach pin, and a box of chocolates.
— Bronx Zoo (@BronxZoo) January 17, 2018
"This Valentine's Day, give the one gift sure to take their breath away. Name a roach for your special someone," the zoo writes of the "gift to remember" on its website. Unsurprisingly, the program is going viral on social media. "At the Bronx Zoo this year u can name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after ur valentine and honestly if someone did this for me I would cry," one roach enthusiast tweeted. Another hilariously added, "One of my ex’s got me Quinceñera balloons thinking it said ‘I love you’ and another one named a cockroach in the Bronx Zoo after me so… Valentine’s Day is canceled foreverrrrr."
And if you are the lucky recipient of a cockroach certificate, take it as a compliment. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is the only known species of insect capable of hissing, is an excellent climber, and has been around since the Jurassic period. Also, sleep tight knowing your ex hated you so much he actually wasted money on a cockroach certificate. If that's not the epitome of #RelationshipGoals, we don't know what is.