In a touching tribute, Jamie Otis and husband Doug Hehner remember their son on what would have been his first birthday. The Married at First Sight couple took to Instagram to share how they are honoring their baby boy, Jonathan, who they lost to a miscarriage in 2016.

“We’ve been MIA on social media today — Spent the whole day thinking of this little guy. I imagine him up in heaven bouncing on clouds curled up in his Grandma Dot’s arms,” Jamie wrote. “Today he would have been one year old if he had ever made it to his due date.” Watch the video below to see how they are honoring Jonathan this Christmas!

Following her devastating miscarriage, Jamie has been very open about sharing her experience with other women. “I had a huge reality check with my pregnancy with Jonathan because I’m a nurse and I work in this field and I felt like, immune to it all,” she told Life & Style exclusively. “I felt very isolated and alone, in this deep, dark hole — and then when I started blogging about it, and all of these women reached out, and some of them had never even shared their loss with a soul.”

She continued, “Obviously, the loss of a child — no one wants to talk about that, and that’s because it’s so incredibly uncomfortable. What do you say? What can anyone say to comfort you? It’s usually not a lot, but if you sit there in your dark hole and we don’t talk about it, that doesn’t help anybody. Other women who are going through it also sit in their dark holes and instead of just sitting alone in your dark hole, to try to reach out and chat about it with someone who is going through similar experiences. Not only are you helping yourself, you’re helping the other person. You really are.”

Today, Jamie, 31, and Doug, 34, are the proud parents of daughter Henley Grace and the stars of their own spin-off show, Jamie and Doug Plus One. “I just try to be positive. Obviously, I love my daughter mentally, but I can’t help but wonder what he would have been like,” Jamie admitted. “He’d be a year [old] in December, so I just can’t help but think about what he would be like and that kind of stuff. I think it navigates through all of that.”