It’s tough being a teenager, even more so when you’re in the spotlight like Billie Eilish. The 17-year-old recently got candid about her issues with body dysmorphia and how she’s overcome it.
“That was probably when I was the most insecure,” the “Bad Guy” singer told Rolling Stone in an interview published on Wednesday, July 31. Billie was referring to when she was 12 and was part of a competitive dance company. “I wasn’t as confident. I couldn’t speak and just be normal. When I think about it or see pictures of me then, I was so not OK with who I was.”
She continued, “At dance, you wear really tiny clothes. And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”
The pop star confessed that her pre-teen and early teens years were anything but fun. “It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain,” she told the outlet. “When anyone else thinks about Billie Eilish at 14, they think of all the good things that happened. But all I can think of is how miserable I was. How completely distraught and confused. 13 to 16 was pretty rough.”
Because of what she’s gone through, Billie feels for other girls. “Sometimes I see girls at my shows with scars on their arms, and it breaks my heart,” she admitted. “I don’t have scars anymore because it was so long ago. But I’ve said to a couple of them, ‘Just be nice to yourself.’ Because I know. I was there.”
Fortunately, though, things started looking up for Billie. “I haven’t been depressed in a minute, which is great,” she added. “17 has probably been the best year of my life. I’ve liked 17.” We’re happy for you, girl!