So heartbreaking. Fans were surprised earlier this year when country music star Carrie Underwood revealed that she was pregnant and expecting baby No. 2 with her husband, NHL star Mike Fisher. But no one knew the heartache and pain and tears that Carrie went through in order to get to that point. In an emotional interview with CBS Sunday Morning, the “Cry Pretty” singer opened up about her difficult journey and revealed that she suffered three miscarriages before getting pregnant with her second child.

“2017 just wasn’t how I imagined it. I kind of planned that 2017 was going to be the year that I work on new music, and I’d have a baby,” the 35-year-old said, trying to hold back tears. “We got pregnant early 2017 and it didn’t work out. Yeah, it happens. And that was the thing, in the beginning, it’s like okay, God, we know that this just wasn’t your timing and that is alright, we will bounce back and figure our way through it. And then we got pregnant in the spring and it didn’t work out. Got pregnant again in early 2018, didn’t work out. So at that point, it was kinda like okay, what’s the deal?”

Carrie said throughout the entire process, she was writing for her recently released album, Cry Pretty. She said that she would have writing session almost immediately after she found out about her miscarriages and she poured herself into her music and her career — and she said the songwriting process was therapeutic for her in coping with the pregnancy loss.

But even though she admitted that it was a hard thing to go through, she tried to be grateful for all of the blessings that she does have in her life. “I have always been afraid to be angry because we are so blessed, my son Isaiah is the sweetest thing and he’s the best thing in the world and I’m like, if we can never have any other kids, that’s okay because he’s amazing,” Carrie said. “And I have this amazing life — really, what can I complain about? I can’t. I have an incredible, husband, incredible friends, incredible job, an incredible kid, can I be mad? No. And I got mad.”

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But on one Saturday night, Carrie thought she was having another miscarriage. She said Mike was away so she went to cuddle with her son Isaiah. She was sobbing and talking to God, asking why she would keep getting pregnant if she can’t carry the pregnancy to term. She asked him to either close the door for her on ever having more children, or just let her have a child. Then she went to the doctor the following Monday to confirm if she had a miscarriage, and they told her everything looked fine.

“And I was like, He heard me! Not that He hasn’t in the past, but maybe, I don’t know, I just…He heard me,” Carrie said, choking back on tears.