Real talk: there are two weeks left to see Cruel Intentions: The Musical before it leaves the stage in New York City and YOU. NEED. TO. GO. I’ve already seen it three times and honestly, I would see it three more. It’s literally just like the ’90s movie with Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, and Selma Blair — but with a jukebox musical flair, featuring all of your favorite hits from the ’90s. Think “Genie in a Bottle,” “Bye, Bye, Bye,” and “I’m Just a Girl” fitting perfectly into the plotline all while Sebastian and Kathryn exude their step-sibling lust.

But let’s be real, the main reason you need to see it is because of the really f–king hot guy who plays Sebastian. Constantine Rousouli is a gift to the world and I don’t understand how he is real.

Like, just look at this….

His body is a damn temple.

He is so chiseled that I found myself admiring his hamstrings — his hamstrings, guys. That‘s how tight his pants are on stage. Ryan Phillippe has nothing on him…

And don’t even get me started on his chemistry with Kathryn and Annette.

Lauren Zakrin could literally not be more perfect in her portrayal of the manipulative mastermind that is Kathryn – when she started singing “B—h” by Meredith Brooks I lost it. And
Carrie St. Louis just is Annette. Not only does she look like Reese Witherspoon and have legs like Carrie Underwood’s, but the emotion she conveys during the intense scenes with Sebastian will wreck you. Also, I watched Constantine cry real tears while singing with Carrie and I still haven’t recovered. RIP me.

cruel intentions the musical

(Photo Credit: Jenny Anderson)

Oh, and did I mention Constantine can sing?

Like, really, really sing.

Some other things you should know before seeing the show (in case you’re not sold yet):

1) Constantine shows his bare butt on stage
2) Constantine flashes his bare (v toned) butt on stage (sorry, did I say that already?)
3) You get a nice good look at Constantine’s chiseled derriere (Ok, ok I’ll stop)
4) The entire cast is hella talented (I have a crush on literally everyone in the ensemble. Every. One.)
5) The cast can SANG
6) You will laugh your a– off
7) You’ll feel nostalgic AF in the best way possible
8) Your heart will explode with emotions because it’s all just too much to handle (and by all I mean Constantine’s abs).

Side note: do yourself a favor and follow him on Instagram.

He seems to exclusively hang out with dudes who have abs (insert drooling emoji here).

So what are you waiting for? Buy your tickets to see Cruel Intentions: The Musical ASAP and let’s get Constantine cast in every future rom-com to ever exist because he is a special breed of human and deserves to be admired for eternity.