OMFG: We Unpacked the Drama of Three International Versions of ‘Gossip Girl’

Serena van der Woodsen

All of the Serenas are united by bountiful Rapunzel hair, plenty of damsel-in-distressing, and an inability to keep their mouth closed while their face is in rest. Gossip Girl Acapulco's take on Serena is named Sofía López-Haro. She's a lot like American Serena, except she traded in a bunch of thigh high boots and cleavage rhombuses for bikinis. It feels right.

Gossip Girl Thailand's Serena Wijitranukul is a little less blonde and a little more wide-mouthed then the others in this line-up. Still, she makes her triumphant return to Bangkok in the same, nearly-slow-motion fashion as the OG Serena.

Su from Küçük Sırlar is a total Dime Store Blake Lively. She has an obsession with Alice in Wonderland which seems important enough to reference that in her Twitter username (so incredibly basic, got it) but gets into way more trouble than the original Serena. Shortly after the above screenshot, she gets pushed into a pool and smacks her head hard enough that it bleeds. Very Season 1's School Lies while wearing an absurd tulle dress. Oh, and apparently her nude photos end up in the tabloids, which makes Turkish Grandma Cece totally lose her cool.

Blair Waldorf

B's Mexican counterpart Barbara Fuenmayor is seriously stunning and clearly has found a sunscreen that works. Her face is legit glowing, all the time.

That's Thailand's Blair Waranon in the bottom left spot, inviting little Jenny Chanaseri to her annual soiree, or you know, whatever the translation for "rich kid's slumber party" is. Typical Blair move.

And then freaking Turkish Blair is literally split into two people because Küçük Sırlar couldn't handle all those complexities in one person. Ayşegül the more dominant Queen B persona, a strict rival to Su, a lover to playboy step-brother Çetin (oh, we'll get there) and most likely an owner of MAC's Ruby Woo. She gets all the back-to-back promo shots with Turkish Serena, so like, clearly she's the co-leading lady here.

However, Su's best friend Arzu holds a lot of Vulnerable Blair's insecurities, particularly her mommy issues and Serena inferiority complex. But she has some pretty lackluster bangs, and Blair would never.

*Except in Season 5 when Leighton Meester tried to conceal her edgy haircut with a series of unflattering center parts.

Nate Archibald

Hmmm. We're amazed that Mexico's Nico de la Vega looks even more boring than The CW show's Nate. Both still pretty, but not much going on upstairs it seems like.

Nate Achirawat from the Thailand version does make a light-hearted effort with the man-bangs. Much appreciated.

Meanwhile, Küçük Sırlar's Ali is a total mess because we originally marked this guy as the Dan Humphrey of the show, but no, he's Nate. Not really sure what Ali has in common with Nate aside from being a rich pretty boy. Maybe he also has a habit of dating the eye candy of the week. Like, whatever, let's not pretend that Chace Crawford was mostly around for eye candy purposes toward the end anyway.

Chuck Bass

All these Chucks are so much less whimsical than they should be. Still giving off the appropriate sleaze factor, though.

Max Zaga is Gossip Girl Acapulco's Chuck and during the 25-episode run, he seems to give Barbara several frown lines on her perfectly porcelain face. But he also seemingly helps her out with her eating disorder, so good on him for being a nice guy sometimes.

And in Thailand's GG, we have Jak Benjakij. By the way, American Chuck and Thailand Jak are both in the middle of the scene where Serena opens that box of porn movies from Georgina. The expression is on-point. The outfit though? A bit TJ Maxx clearance section instead of something straight off the rack at Saks Fifth Avenue.

And then Turkish Chuck is called Çetin, and as previously mentioned, he's Ayşegül step-brother. The two are scheming together to make their parents break up, but they're also entangled in some heated game of cat and mouse.

Which is…sexy? Another weird stab to make the Chuck-and-Blair dynamic way more problematic than it already is? The Cruel Intentions vibe actually feels on-brand for the pairing and no doubt there's some fanfiction out there with this exact premise. Still, Turkish Gossip Girl is some next-level drama.

Dan Humphrey

Gossip Girl Acapulco's Daniel Parra, seems like more of a grimy Williamsburg hipster version of the one and only Lonely Boy, and that's all we have to say about that.

Dan Chanaseri pretty much looks like a blank slate to us. Honestly, the real gem is Gossip Girl Thailand's Rufus who waltzes around wearing a misspelled Von Dutch t-shirt like it's 2005. American culture: nailed it. It's pretty amazing.

And Demir, our Turkish Dan, well, all we got for him is that his storyline parallels to the American Dan Humphrey are loose at best. Basically, they're like, "his dad is a retired actor and Dan's dad is a retired musician, so there you go." So basically, there are just many versions of Gossip Girl out in the world but c'mon, you know you love it.

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