Kardashians Are Witches, According to Fans — Their Insane Theories

If you go to Google and type in “Kardashians are…” one of the top results that pops up in autofill is “Kardashians are witches.” Wait, what? Uh, we thought Halloween was over. It sounds insane, but there are many people out there who believe there’s something sinister taking place in the Kardashian abode, and it involves witchcraft. Fans have been speculating about this for years now, starting back in 2016 when they pondered if there was a “Kardashian curse.” The famous ladies themselves even talked about it during an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians., “The Kardashian curse is every male figure that comes and dates a Kardashian, their life kind of just goes downhill after that,” Kylie Jenner said. The ladies laughed it off, but you have to admit, their admission does make you think. Why do bad things seem to happen to all the men they date?

The Kardashian Curse

Many fans who are into bizarre conspiracy theories believe the Kardashians have made sacrifices to become the stars they are today — and they’re not just talking about that sex tape. According to these passionate theorists, they believe the famous TV family is actually a coven of witches who, via a dark spell, were all granted the power of beauty and fame. It all started with a bizarre story published in 2012 about the family’s great ancestor, Kekel Kardashian. According to the article, Kekel sold her soul in order for her future offspring to have “fame, fortune, and physical beauty.” And considering the story had such passages like, “She stood in all her perfection upon the dark earth of the clearing, and the rain began to fall upon her perfectly formed breasts, her smooth thighs, her raven hair,” we can safely surmise that it was clearly a work of fiction. However, fans seemed to believe it anyway, and while researching this article, we stumbled across several videos that referenced the story as proof that the Kardashians are witches who found their fame via black magic. “I remember Glamor magazine predicting baby names for Kim and Kanye,” a YouTube commenter wrote. “They mentioned the name Kekel. Now it makes sense why.”

“We Need New Male Energy”

Everyone knows that the men in the Kardashians’ lives all seem to have problems, from Kanye West‘s mental breakdown to Lamar Odom‘s overdose and his recent collapse at a nightclub. It’s a coincidence that certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed by most people, and even newspapers and websites have cheekily poked fun at this so-called “curse.” But theorists have a different view on what’s actually happening.

In an episode of KUWTK, Khloé says, “We need new male energy,” which could really mean anything, but according to fans who believe the sisters are witches, they believe the women are sacrificing men to make their coven more powerful. “Who talks like that anyway?” a fan wrote on a message board. “Energy this, energy that, they’re witches the whole bunch of ’em!” Another one wrote, “Kardashians are nothing but trouble. Pretty much every man in that family has went coo-coo for cocoa puffs.”

According to theorists, they think it’s awfully suspicious that the Kardashians’ boyfriends have all had terrible things happen to them the moment they’ve threatened to “out” the sisters, either via tell-all books or some other shocking revelation. And it’s not just the boyfriends, either — they name Rob Kardashian‘s current predicament as an example of the curse, too. In fact, here’s a complete rundown of what’s happened to each of these men so that you can get a clearer picture (and in case, you know, you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past five years):

Lamar: Khloé’s former hubby had a cousin die in 2011 and was in a serious car accident a few weeks later. In 2015, he was found unresponsive in a brothel, and in 2017, he collapsed at a club. Kanye: He suffered a complete mental breakdown in 2016 and ended his famous friendship with Jay-Z in 2017. Scott Disick: He actually turned to a psychic because he thought he was a victim of the curse. The psychic told him “a negative energy is following you around. Everything that you try to do, you have a tendency to have many obstacles in front of you.” Tristan Thompson: Fans blamed him flubbing the 2017 NBA Finals on the curse. Rob: From his tumultuous relationship with Blac Chyna to his long battle with depression, there’s a lot about Rob that fans find suspicious. Kris Humphries: Yeah, whatever happened to this guy? Fans believe his disappearing career is the fault of Kim. Reggie Bush: His football career quickly tanked after splitting with Kim and he’s currently thinking of retiring if a NFL team doesn’t sign him soon. Tyga: Since hooking up with Kylie, the rapper has been in the middle of several lawsuits.

They Keep Getting Stronger

As the ladies continue to strike out in the love department, their own dynasty seems to be getting even bigger. Kylie has her billion-dollar cosmetic company, Kim somehow continues to make even more money than her, and the recent pregnancies ensure the family will stay on TV for decades to come. Fans believe the Kardashian coven will continue to feast on the souls of men as they grow ever more powerful. “Almost all males that have come up against them have failed and they appear to almost be Teflon as most allegations against them never stick,” one fan wrote. “This is an example of the very powerful negative spiritual influence these women have.”

Run, Travis Scott, run!