If Khloé Kardashian had her way, she’d still be happily married to ex-husband, Lamar Odom.

Unfortunately, though, due to his downward spiral with drugs and alcohol, that’s not the case.

The couple finally signed divorce papers after being separated since 2013, but the reality star admits the 35-year-old will always have a special place in her heart.

khloe lamar

The couple during happier times.

“Lamar is genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever met, and everyone says that when they meet him,” she told Complex. “I think Lamar’s gonna always be that person [for me] but that’s what made it so special. Even if I had it for five years or whatever, it was the best ever and I’m grateful I did. Some people don’t get that ever and I had that magic for a long time.”

The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, 31, admits she still keeps in contact with her former beau, but due to his bad habits, their conversations are inconsistent and not on her terms. She made it clear that his absence from her life has been a struggle.

“Oh my god, I miss him every day,” she said. “I miss what we had — things we got to do together are just memories. I like looking back and holding on to that stuff. I definitely miss it, and there’s times I’ll get so sentimental and so sad, but this had to happen for some reason. I’ll figure it out over time, someone will give me that answer eventually.”

khloe lamar

Taken in 2012.

Since her split with Lamar, Khloé has been linked to other men including rapper French Montana and most recently James Harden — but it’s clear her heart may still be in another place.

“I don’t think it’s fair for me to lead somebody on, or for me to act like I’m in this perfect headspace if I’m not,” she said.