In an exclusive interview and photo shoot with Life & Style, Mob Wives star Renee Graziano opens up about her longtime struggle with depression — and new source of strength, her 1-month-old grandson Anthony John.

Plagued by depression for years, the brunette beauty had been in and out of rehab for mental health and substance abuse issues since 2010. But after an intense period filming Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars and Celebrity Big Brother back-to-back last fall, “I got super depressed,” she reveals. “I felt lifeless like I wasn’t anybody.”

So in October, she checked into Transitions Recovery Program in North Miami.

MORE: Farrah Abraham, NeNe Leakes, and More Reality TV Stars' Most Drastic Transformations

She explains that when she flew home to Staten Island for the April 26 birth of her first grandchild, she was planning to return to her program for three more months. But as soon as she held Anthony John, her son AJ’s newborn, everything changed.

renee graziano ls

“I felt grateful, I felt at peace,” Renee, 47, shared at the exclusive photo shoot on June 2. “I felt like God forgave me for things I’ve done wrong.”

In Renee’s eyes, her grandson had saved her: “Every time I look at him,” she says, “I see the purity in a person that has never experienced any evil. It makes you feel reborn.” Besides, she adds, “Just look at that face! Who would want to be away from that?”

MORE: Never Miss a Life & Style Exclusive by Signing up for Our Newsletter!

“My grandson will never see me mentally absent,” she continues. “When I saw him, I was like, ‘I’m not going back.’”

renee graziano grandson ls

She knows she’ll always struggle with depression. But little Anthony had given her a new reason to fight. “He brought me peace and helped me close the door on that entire book of misery, pain, and betrayal,” she says. “I have eight months clean and sober. I haven’t been this happy in years.

For more exclusive photos, pick up the latest issue of Life & Style magazine, on newsstands now!