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Anyone who’s a fan of Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi knows that she has no filter … in the best way, of course! Case in point: The longtime reality star and proud mama of three, 31, recently appeared on the “Women On Top” podcast where she got *very* real about post-pregnancy sex. Scroll through the gallery below to see all of her tips.
ICYMI: Snooki and her husband, Jionni LaValle, welcomed baby No. 3 — a boy named Angelo — on May 30. OK … now onto the ~sexy~ stuff. Although, we’d like to be clear, most of this isn’t going to put you in the mood.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“Medically, they say you have to wait, like, six weeks. And I waited the six weeks [after the two other births] because I ripped,” the Jersey Shore alum admitted.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“This one, I didn’t rip probably because I had two kids, so my vagina is huge, I guess,” Snooki added. See what we mean about the whole no filter thing?
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“Down there, it doesn’t feel that bad … but I still want to wait just in case, like, something happens and, God forbid, I do rip during sex or whatever,” Nicole expressed of her decision to stay away from the bedroom for a bit.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“After you have a baby and then have sex, it doesn’t feel right at first. It feels like you are a virgin again,” Snooki confessed.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“It just hurts. It’s uncomfortable,” she noted, before offering some sage advice, “And then it starts to feel good, like, after you get into the motions, but I mean, you need a lot of lube. Let’s just put it that way.”
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
After recommending some lube, Snooki detailed how she plans on, er, getting down with Jionni when the time comes. “I want my husband to take me out to dinner [and] I want to get horny drunk on wine, and then we put the kids to bed,” she explained.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“Then we will go in our spare room, keep drinking wine, and that’s how I want it to happen.” A spare room, wine and lots of lube … sounds like you can take the girl out the Jersey Shore, but you can’t take the Jersey Shore out of the girl.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
Unsurprisingly, that was hardly the first time Snooki opened up about life after giving birth. In fact, she’s been incredibly forthcoming with fans on social media about her postpartum journey.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“The aftermath of birth,” Snooki captioned an Instagram Story the day after going into labor. “You definitely need these guys. Hazel pads for your butthole. Here’s my underwear, my pads, my squirt bottle. Pray for me.”
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
“My feet are swollen, I’m wearing a diaper, my son just peed and s–t on me twice and my sciatica is acting up,” she continued. “Hello postpartum.”
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
Snooki concluded her brutally honest Story with, “No one warned me about the third pregnant postpartum cramping. Like am I still in active labor? S–t!”
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
Have you ever heard of baby fever? Yeah, basically this is the opposite of that. Even so, it’s clear that Snooki is *so* beyond in love with her newborn.
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
Now that little Angelo is almost 2 months old, we wonder if Snooki and her man are starting to think about baby No. 4. We’re kidding … mostly!
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Courtesy of Nicole Polizzi/Instagram
As much as we’d love to see Snooki and Jionni’s family grow by one more, we have no problem indefinitely fawning over Angelo, Giovanna and Lorenzo.