If you’ve been following Tana Mongeau since day one, then you already know that her YouTube channel was built on being her most authentic self. However, in recent months, fans have noticed a change in the 21-year-old influencer.
Thankfully, on Sunday, December 29, Tana took to the platform that made her a star to address everything she’s been bottling up, including the status of her relationship with Jake Paul.
“I’m so unhappy with the way my relationship with Jake looks in the public eye. I’ve done so much pretending that I don’t care what I do … so, it’s my fault, you know?” Tana began.
“It’s the best day of my life,” Jake, 22, told Life & Style exclusively after walking down the aisle. Unfortunately, that was hardly the case for Tana. “The second that Jake and I got married, I just feel like everything changed,” the MTV reality star admitted. “The wedding night was just hell for me.”
Sadly, things didn’t get better from there. “With the open relationship, it’s my fault, too. I wanted to be the cool girlfriend that he never had for him because I cared about him so much, but I let that, like, destroy me,” Tana explained.
“I feel like when I thought of an open relationship with him, I thought of it as, like, us, a team. Occasionally, we both might hook up with other people and eventually, we would maybe be monogamous, but that was me, looking at that through rose-colored glasses,” she continued.
“I feel like an open relationship to Jake was him still being able to have sex with a new bitch every night, which I am not blaming him, I was the one green-lighting everything because I just wanted to make him happy … and letting it kill me,” Tana added. “Obviously, that also comes with so much self-hatred of I did all of this. It’s no one’s fault but my own.”
Following the wedding, Tana’s family hit some hard times, including the death of her grandmother, which prevented her from going on the honeymoon with Jake. “This giant part of me wanted Jake so badly to stay and take care of me and when he didn’t, I was so heartbroken,” Tana said. “I wanted to fix this person who was so emotionally f–ked up, but then when it came time for them to help me and fix me … they couldn’t and that was my fault for falling for that.”
As it stands, Jake and Tana are still in each other’s lives. “We have this project we now have to work on … and I don’t ever want to be on bad terms. I don’t ever want to not be friends. There will always be a part of me that will open my heart to him,” she confessed. “I wish every day him and I could get back to the way we were because it was magic.”