LOLHere’s What Celebrity Tweets Might Look Like if It Were the ’90s

Kylie Jenner: "Want to hear my latest makeup tutorial? Call 1-800-KING-KYLIE on your landline phone to hear ALL about it! (A standard charge of $1.99/hour may apply.)

Before apps, there were 1-800 numbers that charged even more than apps.

Amber Rose: "If you're a guy and you have a chain wallet, I'm NOT talking to you. #JustKeepWalking #CauseYoureWack

Chain wallets. Can't forget those.

Blac Chyna: "I don't know why ya'll are trippin over my weight loss. I use my Tae Bo workout VHS just like everybody else."

And everybody had a Billy Blanks Tae Bo workout VHS.

Selena Gomez: "I can't get enough of @theweeknd's "Starboy." I've been listening to it nonstop on my walkman. SO GOOD. I ran the batteries out. LOL!"

Exploiting a fake-relationship can be done with any device, no matter how old.

Miley Cyrus: "Two words: pizza bagels."

Ahh, the go-to food for potheads.

Justin Bieber: "I don't know who this Vanilla Ice guy is, but he's trying to jack my style and I think that's wack."

Maybe all this time they've been the same person.

Chrissy Teigen: "So last night I couldn't sleep and I ended up buying a couple dozen of those Ginsu knives. #NoRegrets #JohnWillUnderstand

Staying up all night ordering crap from the TV? Some things never change (except replace TV with Internet).

Taylor Swift: "My new album drops next week and it’s going to be called GIRL POWER. I’m the first person ever to come up with this."

The Spice Girls didn't show up until 1996.

Kim Kardashian: "I LOST my pager, you guys! I stuck it in my JNCO jeans pocket, but the pants are so huge, now I can't seem to find it. :("

To give Kim any credit, those JNCO pockets were like an opening into another dimension.

Khloé Kardashian: "Coming to a Limited Too near you, my new scrunchie line! I make all my buns with them. They’re made with extra elastic protection to keep them from falling off your wrist!"

Of course she would. Have to profit off those top knot buns somehow.

Jennifer Lopez: "I know I might look like I’m all about the glitz and the glamour, but I’m still just a girl from the Bronx. I come home, watch ‘Friends,’ and eat KFC like everybody else."

Honestly, we still watch Friends and eat KFC today.

Bella Hadid: "What's a selfie?"

NEXT: See What the Kardashians' Instagram Pics Would Look Like if They Had Regular Jobs