Look, I'm not just saying this because I'm a big fan of their straight-to-video Halloween film, but I'm starting to suspect that the Olsen twins may be witches. Seriously, with their hunchbacked posture, stringy hair, and shadow of black couture, Mary-Kate and Ashley look just one gingerbread penthouse away from being confirmed sorceresses. And maybe you're a little bit skeptical that I'm making a mountain out of a heavily cloaked molehill. But considering their recent interest in crystals and strangely synchronized behavior, you have to admit there's something spooky going on with Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Maybe I'm gathering that suspicion because there's something going on because the girls have retreated so far into the darkness that they only venture out in the world for a Starbucks run and or a casual appearance at the Met Gala. And back in 2010, Ashley revealed the girls are "together every day, probably from 9 a.m. 'till 12 at night, sometimes earlier." Like, they're are so attached at the hip that they might as well be Siamese twins instead of fake identical. And if we had to guess what they were plotting every day, it's either "running a successful fashion line" or "using the dark arts to maintain the stranglehold of power they've held on us since they were toddlers."

olsen twins witches

All I'm saying is that there are few witchy things about the Olsens that give me pause. Scroll down to hear us unpack our suspicions.