When it comes to sex, we all have moments where our inner critic gets a little too loud. Sex expert and host of the “Sex With Emily” podcast, Emily Morse, exclusively revealed tips to Life & Style on how to feel like your most confident self in the bedroom.
“Just remember, we are our hardest critics,” the doctor of human sexuality explained. “People are in bed with us because they want to have sex with us. This is all a mind game. I get it — that’s easier said than done — but there’s a lot to be said for learning to be mindful … so when you get in the bedroom you can notice that you’re tripping on your thoughts and go back to what’s happening in the present moment, which is why I like to have things that anchor me in the present.”
The key to feeling more comfortable in bed? “Make sure you’re in a comfortable environment and make sure you play up all the senses,” the Sirius XM host advised. “When I say play up all your senses, play music that puts you in the mood. Find your sex playlist that’s going to activate you and make you excited. Have good lighting — you want to light a candle that has great scents plus with some lights.” Basically, sex isn’t one-note. Touch, smell and feel are all senses that can enhance the physical pleasure and make you feel more confident by rooting you to the moment.
“People can get so distracted during sex sometimes but then it’s like, ‘Ok I have my candle going … and I’m listening to my music, I’m feeling this lingerie on my body and this great oil on my skin … You’re sort of getting them all on board,” she continued. “The reason we don’t feel confident is because we’re in our head and we’re beating ourselves up and we’re worried. So I always say when you engage your senses in the bedroom, we’re more likely to be in the moment.”
Emily encourages people to learn more about their own bodies and sexuality and it will translate into getting physical with a partner. “My confidence in the bedroom rule goes for if you’re with a partner for 10 years or 10 minutes — it’s just about wearing things, doing things, practicing on your own, looking in the mirror when you’re home, dancing naked. As silly as all this stuff sounds, when we learn to love our bodies and learn ‘Wow, I can have an orgasm this way’ or ‘That feels great’ … We will have more confidence in the bedroom,” she dished.
Confidence starts with owning your sex life — you got this!