In a sobering Instagram post on Wednesday, Dec. 27, Solange Knowles revealed that she has been suffering in silence for a large chunk of 2017. After she was forced to pull out of a New Year’s Eve performance at AfroPunk in South Africa, the singer told fans that she had been diagnosed with an Autonomic Disorder earlier this year.

“Wrote, deleted and re wrote this like 5 times…” she began. “Still not sure what exactly or how much I want to share… However it’s so important to me for the people in South Africa, a place that has tremendous meaning to me and that has given me SO SO MUCH, to know why I won’t be performing at Afro Punk this NYE.”

She continued, “The past five months I have been quietly treating, and working through an Autonomic Disorder. It’s been a journey that hasn’t been easy on me… Sometimes I feel cool, and other times not so cool at all. It’s a complicated diagnoses [sic], and I’m still learning so much myself, but right now, my doctors are not clearing me for such an extended lengthy flight, and doing a rigorous show right after.”

Though she didn’t offer specific details about her symptoms, the Mayo Clinic explains that Autonomic nerve disorders (dysautonomia) impact the autonomic nervous system, which controls many of our involuntary functions. Symptoms can include problems with heart rate, blood pressure, and one’s bowel and bladder, fatigue, lightheadedness, weakness, and cognitive impairment.

Solange added, “I can’t put into words how saddened and sorry I am that I am unable to perform for you guys this NYE, there is simply no other place I wanted to be than there with my family to bring in 2018 with you…….but I give you my ABSOLUTE WORD I will come back with AfroPunk and deliver this performance… it is so extremely important to me to connect with the people who have so closely inspired me in so many ways.”

As for the future, the 31-year-old said, “As a part of the self care that I’ve tried to encourage this past year, it needs to start with myself, and I’m looking forward to doing a better job of this 2018. This past year has been one of the most fulfilling of my life… Performing this record and experiencing the energy exchange with you guys has been astounding, and I’m so excited about continuing to do the work I feel so absolutely humbled and appreciative to be doing next year. It gives me life.” Our thoughts are with Solange as she continues her recovery.