It sounds like Ariana Grande took her own advice on Oct. 16 and just kept breathin’ and breathin’ and breathin’! The pop superstar admitted that she her anxiety was out of control during her first performance since reports came out that she and Pete Davidson split, and it almost robbed her of an amazing experience. Luckily, she pushed through!

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“Can’t believe I almost let my anxiety ruin this for me today!” Ari wrote on a photo of herself rocking a sleek pony and glittering green lipstick and eyeshadow. The 25-year-old songstress revealed one day earlier that she would be performing the song “The Wizard And I” on NBC’s upcoming A Very Wicked Halloween special. She taped her appearance for the 15-year Broadway celebration on Oct. 16 and looked gorgeous doing it. However, videos from the event show that she was not wearing her $100k engagement ring anymore.

It sounds like she’s proud she didn’t let ~anything~ get in the way of her performance (including calling off her engagement) and she doesn’t plan to in the future either. “Not today Satan! Not tomorrow or the next day either, not no more, you can suck my big green d–k!” she wrote. “Finna sing my heart out and be a big walking vessel of love bye!” Ari also shared the gift she got from the taping: a gorgeous Elphaba Barbie doll.

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YOOOO 😍 #wicked15 (via @makeupbymario w/o sound)

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While Ari slayed her first performance after the alleged breakup and proved that she’s strong and ready to move on, her former fiancé wasn’t feeling as good. Instead, the 24-year-old Saturday Night Live comedian cancelled his first upcoming show, which was set to be at Temple University on Oct. 17. Just one day before, the college sent out a press release to let students know Adam Devine would be replacing him. “Pete will no longer be able to do our homecoming show due to personal reasons,” said the release. Still, neither Pete nor Ari have publicly revealed that they’ve broken up. Hopefully Pete will start feeling better soon, we wish both him and Ari the best in this difficult time.