It’s been just days since Fergie and Josh Duhamel totally broke our hearts and called it quits after eight years together. While the duo revealed they had “decided to separate as a couple earlier this year,” it wasn’t until Sept. 14 that the famous parents confirmed the breakup to fans. And with the announcement came some confusion — but Life & Style can exclusively reveal that Fergie was the one who decided to pull the plug on the marriage, which surprised even the couple’s closest friends.

“We really thought they were working things out,” an insider says. “This is shocking. But Fergie and Josh were fighting a lot.” The fighting got so bad, the source adds, that back in July, Fergie refused to support Josh at an event he was doing for Haute Living. “They were yelling at each other,” says the source, “and she never attended.”

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The couple had gone through rough patches before. There were trust issues, sources say. And though they adore their son, Axl, 4, “They disagreed about if and when to have another baby.” During the last days of their marriage, “They were spending a lot of time separately with Axl. It’s very sad.”

It’s clear from the statement they gave about their split that the couple has been rocky for some time now. “To give our family the best opportunity to adjust, we wanted to keep this a private matter before sharing it with the public,” a rep said for the duo. “We are and will always be united in our support of each other and our family.”

Trust issues in the relationship started early on. Less than a year into their marriage, Josh was caught cheating on his wife with a stripper. “When you go through difficult times, it really makes you stronger as a unit, as a partnership. It does for us, anyways. Our love today is a deeper love, definitely,” Fergie said in 2012. “We’re stronger today definitely because of anything difficult that’s happened with us. We deal with it, we communicate; communicating’s the most important thing.”

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