A new episode of This Is Us airs tonight — and we couldn’t be more excited! Last week, we left off with Randall (played by Sterling K. Brown) welcoming his oldest daughter, Tess, into the world in his home. The dramatic episode had viewers engaged not only because his wife gave birth in their living room, but because it also showed Randall’s struggle with anxiety. Now, as the season is moving forward, Mandy Moore (who plays Rebecca) is teasing that tense storylines are ahead.

Tonight’s episode travels back in time to give fans a glimpse of the process Rebecca and Jack (played by Milo Ventimiglia) went through in order to adopt Randall. The episode title “The Most Disappointed Man” shows Jack and Rebecca meeting with their social worker multiple times during the course of Randall’s first year of life.

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“The process is a bit more fraught than we realized it was going to be,” Mandy told Entertainment Weekly. “It was explained to us that it was going to be very cut and dry and we’ve had him in our home for just about a year. Our social worker is like, ‘You have the thumbs up from me. Basically, it’s just going to be a rubber stamp and a signature, and he’s officially yours.’ It’s very distressing to Jack and Rebecca because it puts in [play] the biggest nightmare that they haven’t either bothered to even factor in. They never really thought they would find themselves in that position of not being able to adopt him officially. It’s all about race, and whether or not we’re qualified to raise this child because we’re white. It’s very heavy.”

And according to Mandy, this isn’t the only “heavy” episode viewers will watch this season. “I’m scared about the rest of the season because I know we have some real heavy moments coming up this season that need to be addressed in regard to [Jack’s] passing, so I’m trying to prepare myself for that,” Mandy revealed to People about the mystery surrounding how Jack died. We’ll have our tissues ready!