Popular YouTuber Tana Mongeau prides herself on being completely transparent with fans — even if that means discussing some sensitive subjects. On Wednesday, October 10, the 21-year-old influencer took to her Instagram Story to share an emotional message with her followers after hitting five million subscribers on the platform that made her a star. 

In true Tana fashion, she began her post with humor and a hint of sarcasm. “Haha [I] bet you thought this was an apology because it was a notes app screenshot. Sorry to let you down. I’m sure I’ll have an apology soon. Xoxo.” 

ICYMI: A lot of A-listers issue apologies using the notes app because of character limits on Twitter.

Tana Mongeau
Courtesy of Tana Mongeau/Instagram

“I never thought I’d be at a place where I’d casually wake up, open my tagged photos like a true narcissist and simply stumble on the fact that I hit 5 million subscribers today. I remember spending days refreshing to see myself hit 1,000 subscribers and telling my parents to them saying, ‘Pick up another shift and shut up about the YouTube thing already.’ I remember refreshing to 100,00 and shortly [after], quitting my job with happy tears and getting to move out of my own living hell,” Tana continued.

“I remember counting the weeks up until one million. I remember re-filming my one million video 20 times because I couldn’t stop crying. I remember hanging my Youtube Plaques side-by-side wondering if I’d actually accomplished something and if I could succeed … but that girl wasn’t 100 percent happy and had a very long and hard road ahead of her.” 

The latter half of Tana’s message was a heartfelt thank you to those who got her to where she is today: her fans. “To be at a place where I feel secure enough in what I do that I’m no longer refreshing a number wondering if I’ll be doing this tomorrow is a feeling I’m so eternally grateful for. Everywhere I go, I see one of your faces and hug you. My life has become a physical representation of all five million of you. I’m always reminded that it’s all because of you. I no longer have a second to forget or doubt and that, for me, is a beautiful thing,” the MTV reality star expressed.

“Thank you for supporting me through every high, low, mistake, success, miracle and tragedy. Thank you for watching my life unfold as it really does and not some glorified highlight reel and STILL rocking with me. That takes a lot — cause this s–t isn’t always pretty. It might feel like you’re following ME and MY world, but I truly hope you always know that YOU created this world for me. You created this LIFE for me. I feel like as YouTubers grow or gain a celebrity status, it’s easier to forget milestones like this one … but I can’t look at the number five million without picturing that girl on her parents’ couch, so READY to give up on not only her passions but life itself,” Tana confessed. 

Tana Mongeau VMAs 2019
Andrew H. Walker/Shutterstock

Lastly, she gushed, “Thank you for saving me, every single day but EXPONENTIALLY at five million. No matter what — I always wanna be Tana talking to her camera and all of you. A f–king YOUTUBER! Love you. Thank you for not only five million, but my entire life.”

As always, we appreciate Tana for keeping it real! Congratulations on your five million … here’s to five million more!

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