Despite the fact that the 2018 Emmy Awards were certainly a star-studded event, some fans couldn’t help but notice that Ariana Grande and her fiancé, Pete Davidson, were not in attendance. According to People, the “God is a woman” singer and the Saturday Night Live star opted out of the award show in the best interest of Ariana’s mental health. 

“Given the events of the past couple of years, Ariana is going to take some much needed time to heal and mend,” her team told the publication. “She will be staying close to home and using this period to spend time with her loved ones and work on new music without [a] deadline. She thanks her fans for their understanding.”

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Just 10 days prior to Ariana’s scheduled appearance, her ex-boyfriend of two years, Mac Miller, passed away from an apparent overdose at just 26 years old. Since the “Self-Care” rapper’s untimely death, Ari has received a disturbing amount of hate and blame for his passing. The couple called it quits in May and many fans have cited Mac’s heartbreak as a potential cause for his reckless behavior — including a DUI arrest shortly after their split. 

However, on Sept. 14, Ariana formally broke her silence on her longtime love’s passing, which included an apology. “I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will,” the 25-year-old began her deeply emotional tribute along with a sweet video of the pair on a date. 

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“I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it. We talked about this so many times. I’m so mad. I’m so sad. I don’t know what to do. You were my dearest friend for so long. Above anything else, I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away — I really wanted to. The kindest sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re [OK] now. Rest,” Ariana concluded. 

Unfortunately, Mac’s passing is hardly the first tragedy Ariana has had to endure. On May 22, 2017, a suicide bomber killed 22 people and injured more than 500 in a terrorist attack at the Manchester show of her Dangerous Woman Tour. People reported that Ari continues to suffer from anxiety and PTSD from that fateful day. We hope that Ariana takes all the time she needs to heal from these traumatic events. She’s a very brave woman and we’re all rooting for her.