Just one week after the untimely death of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.

"I'm desperate to go back to normal," she confides to Life & Style. "I'm downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D."

More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. "I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren't working so I stopped. It hurt either way,"

Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, "I'm obsessed with fitness but it's impossible to work out with these boobs," she says. "It's heartbreaking. I can't live an everyday life."

And while Heidi tells Life & Style she is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she'll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever after the untimely passing of her confidant Dr. Ryan. "I feel trapped in my own body," Heidi tells Life & Style.

"There's just no fixing it," she says. "Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything."


Read the full interview with Heidi Montag PLUS exclusive new photos of the reality star in the new issue of Life & Style, on newsstands now.