Four months after his divorce from Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt is still struggling to adjust to life without his six children — and New Year’s Eve proved to be particularly difficult for the star.

According to reports, the 53-year-old has been telling friends, “This has been the worst holiday season of my life.” And it’s no surprise, given that the Oscar winner’s name has been publicly dragged through the mud.

MORE: Billy Bob Thornton Reveals He Never Felt "Good Enough" For Ex Angelina Jolie

"Brad's anguish is palpable right now," a source tells the Daily Mail. "He desperately misses having his kids… These supervised visits are sheer hell on him. He's broken down in tears so many times — he's not ashamed to cry anymore.”

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Brad with sons Maddox and Pax and daughter Shiloh in 2014.

As Life & Style previously reported, the Allied actor is allowed to see his kids for brief periods of time, but only when a therapist is present. "Brad is like a broken man. He feels betrayed by a woman whom he says he still loves. He misses her despite everything that has happened between them,” the source adds. “He was blindsided by their divorce — he still believes Angelina made an impulsive decision and can't figure out how to reverse it and save face.”

Even though Brad enjoyed a visit with Maddox, 15, Pax, 13, Zahara, 11, Shiloh, 10, Vivienne, 8, and Knox, 8, on Christmas Day, an insider tells In Touch that Angelina wasn’t happy about their time together. “[She’s] furious about this. She’s having a meltdown,” the insider revealed.

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Angelina with daughters Zahara and Shiloh in 2015.

“After being told that the kids were cleared to visit Brad at his house she tried to change the terms and have the visit at her home. But she was firmly told no. And that made her furious," the insider explains. "Brad and Angelina are continuing their court battle, with Brad wanting joint custody of their six children and Angelina insisting on sole custody.”

Scroll through the gallery below to see what the former couple’s brood looks like now.