11 Things Only House Could Get Away With Saying to His Patients

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Jul 13, 2016 5:43 pm·

By Virginia Van de Wall

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Dr. House's snarky personality was always fun to watch from a distance, but can you imagine if he was your doctor? We're not sure how we would respond to some of his comments — after all, sensitivity was never his strong suit

Scroll through the gallery to see 11 remarks only House could get away with saying to his patients.

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1 of 11

Because everyone likes being called a "psychopath" to their face, right?

"I'm Dr. House. How long have you been a psychopath?"

2 of 11

There's nothing quite like being called a joke by your doctor…

"Are you kidding?" — "If I was kidding I'd be dressed like you."

3 of 11

Mocking his patients was kind of House's thing.

"Are there other ways I could get pregnant? Like, sitting on a toilet seat?" — "Absolutely! There would need to be a guy sitting between you and the toilet seat. But yes, absolutely!"

4 of 11

Because that's a confronting thing to say before you give someone a shot.

"Relax. I'm not gonna burn you again. I'm going to stab you."

5 of 11

We don't think Justin would be too happy about that comparison.

"Your testosterone levels are below Bieber…"

6 of 11

House had an interesting, yet efficient way, of diagnosing his patients.

"We want to remove your whole head. Don't worry. Doesn't hurt."

7 of 11

Rude doctors are a major red flag!

"Are you this rude to all your patients?" — "Oh, yes. Don't think you're special."

8 of 11

There's just some things you shouldn't say to your patients… even if they are difficult to work with.

"Don't worry it's treatable. Being a b—- though, nothing we can do about that."

9 of 11

Leave it to House to incorporate inappropriate humor whenever possible.

"Boys can't hold me for too long cause I might overheart." — "Girls can't hold me for too long, cause I pay only for an hour."

10 of 11

If you're in a coma when someone asks you for permission, does it count?

"The guy's in a coma" "He didn't mind, I asked." — _"You're getting crumbs all over him!"+

11 of 11

He's got jokes!

"Who are you?" — "Well, considering the only people allowed in this room are your doctor and your family… I'm your long lost cousin Ralph. So glad to finally meet you!"

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