Since 2007 only one family has dominated all of our screens, and that’s none other than the Kardashian clan. From spin-offs to specials to all forms of social media, we’ve watched the world’s most famous family grow (usually in the lips, and almost definitely in the a–) from a group of wealthy shop-owning sisters to an international brand. They are, for what it’s worth, iconic.
But we do wonder what would’ve happened if Kim Kardashian and her satellite sisters grew up differently. Still on camera, of course, but with maybe a bit less contouring and rap-video cameos. What would happen if the Kardashians were part of other reality TV dynasties?
In honor of their upcoming 10 year anniversary special, we decided to Photoshop a few alternate universes in which the Kardashians are starring in very different shows. Not that they need any more. Because let’s face it, it’s low-key upsetting that we’ve been keeping up with the Kardashians for 10 years (a full decade of our lives!).
What’s even more depressing is that we’re all probably going to get a bottle of Chardonnay and tune in Sept. 24th to watch, and three glasses deep start slurring about how we really hope that Tristan Thompson is treating Khloé well because she really deserves happiness. Anyway.. the point is, there’s a reason we’ve latched onto them so hard, and it’s simply that no other television family compares. But we do sometimes wonder what would happen if the Kardashians were raised among distinctively different reality TV tribes, such as…
In the beginning, Keeping Up with the Kardashians was a simple story of Kris Jenner and her eldest daughters just trying to run a high-end boutique in Beverly Hills. Is that really so different than what the Robertsons are doing with Duck Commander?
Jon and Kate Plus Eight
Spoiler: that relationship didn’t work out either. But when you consider just how many Kardashian-Jenners (and Scott Disick, who’s a baby in his own right) there are to take care of, you can understand how Kris and Caitlyn Jenner could have the same stress on their marriage as Jon and Kate Gosselin.
A throwback to the golden age of celebrity-fronted MTV reality shows. What can we say? Caitlyn, like Ozzy Osbourne, was a celebrity long before the cameras started rolling. Kris and Sharon Osbourne probably get their hair cut at the same place. Kylie Jenner definitely co-opted her signature pout from Kelly Osbourne, and Kendall Jenner… well, we’re not sure what to say there, but in this alternate reality we’re pretty sure she wouldn’t have her Calvin Klein modeling contract.
19 Kids and Counting
The Duggars and Kardashians definitely have one thing in common: making sure all of their kin have names of the same letter. Other than that (and a general love of fame-whoring), the two clans couldn’t be more different. The Kardashians aren’t even recognizable until the second they get naked, while the Duggars are raised to believe that showing off your knees is borderline Satanic.
That said we’re not really sure which Kardashian is which here, and we guess that’s fine, since the same could be said for the multitude of Duggar sisters.
Ultimately, the three core Kardashians (and their aggressive momager) are the ones who really made their legacy into a worldwide phenomenon. But let’s never forget that they’d be nowhere without the support of their beloved husband, E! Network.