It never gets easier. Former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari tragically lost her older brother Mike in 2015 when he crashed his car in Utah and died of hypothermia. On Nov. 27, she acknowledged the three-year anniversary of her family’s loss in a heart-wrenching Instagram post.

“Home from a busy morning and thinking of my brother,” she wrote alongside a tender black and white photo looking happy beside her big bro, who was 30 years old when he died. “Today is the 3-year anniversary of his passing and I think this year is one of the hardest, as it’s real now. He’s not coming back and the shock is finally gone.”

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Kristin has been open about her brother and his “demons” since he passed away, but it never seemed more “real” than it did when she talked to Hollywood Medium clairvoyant Tyler Henry in April 2018. “Mike dealt with, we think, bipolar disorder,” she said at the time. “He would go into these manias and think that everything’s fine. And then he would just crash and would be depressed, and it was just this constant up and down, up and down. And then you throw drugs and alcohol into the mix, and it would just enhance everything. It went on for years.”

It hasn’t gotten any easier for Kristin and her family over the last three years, but that doesn’t mean she wants to forget her brother. She concluded her touching message by saying, “Today and every single day, Mikey, we miss you.”

Fans quickly sent their love and support to Kristin in hopes to help ease the pain of the tough day. “Sending you lots of love & strength today. It’s been 2 years since I suddenly lost my sister. It never gets easier,” said one fan. Another wrote, “So sorry for your loss. Grief is never easy… even as it gets further away. Sending love and prayers💙💙💙.” Our hearts go out to Kristin and her family today.