Despite the fact that it’s been nearly a year since Nikki Bella and John Cena broke off their engagement, the Total Bellas star, 35, isn’t fully ready to see her ex move on.

In a teaser clip E! released on Thursday, March 21, Nikki visited Napa and she instantly got flashbacks from when she was wedding planning with her ex, 41. “This is the first time I’ve been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all the memories,” she admitted. Though the two ended their engagement in April 2018, they reconciled for a short period in June before officially breaking things off for good. After spending six years together, it’s no surprise she can’t completely let go of the wrestler.

She even confessed she would be crushed if he saw John dating someone new, but she’s trying her best to be happy. “No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it’s gonna kill me,” Nikki said. “I still have a long way to go, but, honestly, I’m ready for a new me. I need it … I just want to move forward.”

The Bumblebee actor is also putting in the effort, though. In a tweet from mid-January, he gave some pretty mature and sound advice. “Being upset by the happiness of others seems like wasted time,” he wrote. “We should all strive to be happy, and if someone else’s happiness is hurtful to you, look within, ask why, and hopefully you’ll not only find answers, but maybe find happiness yourself.” The tweet came shortly after news broke that Nikki was dating Dancing with the StarsArtem Chigvintsev.

It’s been over two months since Nikki and the professional dancer, 36, were first linked, and by the looks of their recent PDA, they seem to be going strong. “They got together for dinner and the chemistry from the dance floor came right back,” a source previously told Life & Style. They hit it off. They’re taking it slow, but they’re really into each other.”

Hopefully this relationship helps her move on from John once and for all!