Sometimes, it pains us to think that the Olsen twins were worth millions when they were pint-sized little tots. Or you know, even more pint-sized than they are now. And though that's infuriating to the rest of us working paycheck-to-paycheck, you have to respect all their hard work. Mary-Kate and Ashley are a double emblem of the American Dream, which we all know is defined as "Being CEO of a company before you learn fractions." And in the interest of having enough money to buy a bottle of wine over $10 (imagine!), it may help to look at their business model. Check out the video above to see the secrets to becoming a multi-millionaire before puberty.
We don't want to reveal everything up front, but off the bat, there are definitely a few pro-tips you could garner from the Olsen twins. For example…
Hit the ground running while you're young. Like, six-months-old young.
We think there's no better time to start your acting career than when you start cutting your first tooth. Sure, you can't form words yet, but that's what baby wranglers are for. Of course, maybe it's two decades late for you at this point, and you're not going hit it big as an adorable catchphrase-spouting child — but go see if you're related to any infants who you could potentially exploit. Don't worry, talent's not a requirement, they just have to be "photogenic" and "kind of funny." Just ask the twins' dear old dad, Dave Olsen!
Make a successful musical straight-to-video feature… and then make like 50 more.
Regardless of your ability to sing pleasantly, put out as many VHS music videos as humanly possible. Make sure that you have a few friends-for-hire and some wacky subject matters to tackle. Or you know, just solve a few mysteries with your adorable basset hounds. Be a playground-aged Sherlock Holmes.
Have a very cute "identical" twin who will allow you to establish a strong brand image that will sustain you for decades.
Hands down having a twin is a must-have for any success story. But if that doesn't work out, cloning is a good alternate option. If you want the full rundown on how to make it big Olsen-style, check out our video above!