Ummm, we are so confused, y’all! Just five days after news of Roger Mathews and Jenni “JWoww” Farley’s divorce broke, the father-of-two took to Instagram to share a very peculiar message with fans. Even more mind-boggling, though — he casually told his soon-to-be ex-wife that he loves her. 

In what appears to be some sort of post-surgery picture, Roger goes on a long-winded (presumably comedic) rant about using technology to make him a better husband. Be warned, ladies and gentlemen: It’s a wild ride. 

“Technology is an amazing thing. Science has advanced to the point where they make shock therapy specifically designed for men to become better husbands,” the 43-year-old began. “I had this device installed with shock leads that go directly into my spine and my wife holds the controller and settings,” he continued. 

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Technology is an amazing thing. Science has advanced to the point my where they make shock therapy specifically designed for men to become better husbands. I had this device installed with shock leads that go directly into my spine and my wife holds the controller and settings. It’s called the “Dirtbag 9000” . It has voice recognition so if you question your wife it will light you up like a fucking Christmas tree. It has four settings. 1. You’re a cunt 2. I should have stayed with my ex 3. I hope you die a slow painful death 4. Just for fun. (Which is the most powerful setting and is like being shot by a police taser) Humor has always been my way through life. Praying for a better tomorrow. Love you @jwoww

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“It’s called the ‘Dirtbag 9000.’ It has voice recognition so if you question your wife it will light you up like a f—–g Christmas tree. It has four settings,” Roger added before things got, er, a little dark. “1. You’re a c–t 2. I should have stayed with my ex 3. I hope you die a slow painful death 4. Just for fun. (Which is the most powerful setting and is like being shot by a police taser).”

Still with us? Roger concluded his paragraph with, “Humor has always been my way through life. Praying for a better tomorrow. Love you, [JWoww].” Phew! Glad that’s over. Naturally, fans flooded Roger’s comment section with a mixed bag of confusion, support, and laughter. 

“WTF is this? I have no words,” one user commented. “Sending positivity to you guys. Hope all gets better,” added another. “Sorry that you’re going through this… but this s–t is hilarious,” someone chimed in. Seeing as Jenni seemingly unfollowed Roger on Instagram, it would appear that these posts of his aren’t helping. Here’s hoping that he gets off social media and starts focusing on fixing things with the Jersey Shore star.