Before we were obsessed with grumpy baby or disgusted baby, everyone's favorite infant was Stewie Griffin on Family Guy. Of course, everyone still loves the angry and spiteful child, he's just got more competition now.

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Luckily, he's got a leg up on his competitors because, well, he can form full sentences – and has the sense of humor of an adult, without the filter. There are so many everyday situations that seriously require an epic Stewie one-liner, unfortunately, the average person may not appreciate the cartoon baby's humor quite like the rest of us (and if you meet someone who does, you owe it to yourself to befriend them for life).

So for now, we'll just think them in our heads and wish for a day when Stewie's quotes can actually be muttered in real life without substantial consequences. Because you could call your boss an ugly fat man but it probably wouldn't go over too smoothly.

Check out the gallery to see 13 times the Family Guy character took the words right out of our mouths.