It’s been a crazy year for Ariana Grande, which is the understatement of the year. It’s all culminated into her receiving Billboard‘s Woman of the Year award on Dec. 6. Although the singer jokingly said, “I’m not going to cry, that’s really annoying,” her speech was so honest and heartfelt, it was hard not to tear up. Ari declared, “I’m really looking forward to embracing whatever happens and whatever comes my way,” but she couldn’t help but reflect on everything going on in her life.

She began her speech with a joke, “Thank you so much for coming to my Quinceañera, I appreciate it.” Have we not been giving Ari enough credit for how funny she is? This changes today. The “thank u, next” singer then switched gears to thank her team and offered some thoughtful words of encouragement to fans.

Ariana Grande Billboard woman of the year
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“I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years of my career and the worst of my life,” Ari said. “A lot of people would look at someone in my position right now as an artist that could be at her peak and think, ‘She’s really got her s—t together, she’s really on it. She’s got it all.’ And I do, but as far as my personal life goes, I really have no idea what the f—k I’m doing.” After her very public split with ex-fiancé Pete Davidson and the tragic death of Mac Miller, she’s been on an emotional rollercoaster.

Ari added, “I just want to say if you’re someone out there who has no idea what this next chapter is going to bring, you’re not alone in that.” Ok, we officially can’t stop sobbing now. Thanks, Ariana.

As for what’s to come, Ari is staying optimistic. “I look forward to hopefully learning to give some of the love and forgiveness that I’ve given away so frivolously and easily to men in the past to myself, hopefully, this year.” Yes, we stan an empowered queen.

Ariana Grande Billboard speech purple loofah dress
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Besides teasing that her upcoming album is going to be one of the best yet (seriously, we can’t wait), she added, “I have everything I’ve ever dreamt of having, and as of late I’ve discovered that it’s the things I’ve always had and the people I’ve always had that still make me the happiest.”

Aw, we love you too, Ari. Congrats, you deserve literally all the awards.

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