Say it ain’t so. YouTuber Jeffree Star confirmed he and longtime boyfriend Nathan Schwandt have split, according to the latest video on his channel. The makeup mogul, 34, revealed that he and his live-in partner, 26, have been broken up for “weeks” in a confessional vid posted on January 11.

“There’s no easy way to say this but we did break up,” the Jeffree Star Cosmetics owner said in the 17-minute video. He detailed several aspects of the breakup with the Michigan native, but made sure to clarify that the couple remain friends and will be using 2020 to focus on themselves. “Me and Nathan will be friends forever, I will always have love for him,” the blonde beauty confirmed. “Are we in love with each other? No. But we love each other and he will always be in my life.”

But that doesn’t mean Jeffree and Nate weren’t upset about the circumstance they found themselves in. “I’ve used a lot of this time of silence to just try to heal. We’re both in a state of shock. I’m devastated, I’m so sad,” Jeffree explained in the clip. “And the love of my life is no longer — I don’t wake up to him anymore. He’s no longer here every morning and my routines have changed and I’m just in a state of shock right now. We both are.”

Nathan and Jeffree have been together for five years and most recently settled into their dream home, designed by Jeffree himself. In fact, the cosmetics guru posted a video to his YouTube channel about the gorgeous new pad on January 1 — which was less than two weeks ago.

Unfortunately, it seems as though something rough went down between the pair sometime around their big move. “This isn’t an internet fight. This isn’t drama, this isn’t tea, this is my real life and me and my soulmate are really going through it,” Jeffree said emotionally during the clip.

Considering there doesn’t seem to be hatred or animosity in this split, we can’t help but hope we might see these two back together in the future. Fingers definitely crossed, but for now, we’re sending love to both Jeffree and Nate.