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Nikki Bella Says She Was ‘Intent’ on Fitting Into Ex John Cena’s ‘Busy Life’: ‘I Have Many Regrets’
Speaking her truth. Nikki Bella opened up about her relationship with ex-fiancé John Cena in her new book, Incomparable, cowritten with her sister, Brie Bella. “I have many regrets about that relationship. The primary one is that I wish I’d known myself better before I got into it,” the Total Bellas star, 36, penned.
Nikki and John, 43, were together for over six years before calling it quits in May 2018. The pair’s breakup came as a shock to many, as the reality TV stars were expected to get married in Mexico just weeks later.
Nikki admitted her history with her father, Jon Garcia, played a part in her relationship with John. “I wish I’d understood how the patterns in my life, and my relationship with my own father, informed how I react to love, boundaries and feelings of abandonment,” the Dancing With the Stars alum, who is now engaged and pregnant with former partner Artem Chigvintsev, continued.
“I think I could have averted some of what happened,” Nikki confessed. “Because my dad left when I was 15, I learned how to fill in the holes. I expect to be left behind and to find a way to not confront or acknowledge those feelings of loneliness and abandonment.”
The San Diego native also cited her and John’s lifestyle as a reason for their split. Although they tried “to not go too long without seeing each other,” they ultimately failed. “Working all of our various side hustle jobs left me feeling almost pathologically lonely,” she wrote.
“I just didn’t know how to identify the emotion. And I certainly didn’t know how to ask for what I needed,” Nikki continued. “I was intent on fitting into the contours of my ex’s very busy and big life. That was paramount to me, pleasing and keeping him content, not voicing my own needs. He had no idea I wasn’t getting what I needed because I never said anything.”
After their breakup, Nikki had a brief fling with Bachelorette contestant Peter Kraus in November 2018. Months later, in January 2019, she and Artem began to spark dating rumors. “They got together for dinner and the chemistry from the dance floor came right back,” a source exclusively told Life & Style at the time. “They hit it off. They’re taking it slow, but they’re really into each other.”
Over a year later, and Nikki has her happily ever after! Good for you, girl.
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