Every day of our lives we thank God that Britney Spears has an Instagram, and, more pointedly, doesn't know how to use it. Unlike Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian's ultra-polished custom-filtered social media images, Brit-Brit posts haphazardly and with no shortage of impromptu fashion shows. Britney's Instagram is pure. There is no denying it.
But today, let's specifically give snaps to Britney's occasionally confusing and usually adorable captions. Because the way she writes about her everyday life is truly so preciously baffling that the captions could've been written by your tech-challenged mother.
Britney Spears is all of our mothers.
When she showcased her summery AF cowgirl outfit and then talked about PSLs.
This is such a mismatched caption for what's essentially a standard Britney Spears modeling video. In the 'gram, Britney is showing off her short-shorts and an airy white crop top while dancing(?) to The Outfield's "Your Love." What holiday is she even getting ready for? Where does the Pumpkin Spice Latte come in? This just all seems seasonally incorrect, but we love it.
When she praised her son's Dragon Ball Z fanart.
She also gives his stepsister props which is like her putting their artwork up on the Internet's refrigerator.
We like this one because it's not a particularly flattering picture (well, like, Britney looks good and youthful but the composition is lacking) and the caption goes really hard on the exclamation points. Like, unnecessarily so.
When she was low-key AF about dining with Mariah Carey.
Two pop culture goddesses collide and Brit's just like "lol what a fun night." Seriously.
When she shared her fresh new roots.
The ever-expressive Britney just wanted to share her current hair preferences and then just threw on one-too-many winky faces for confusing measure. On a related note:
Every time she just posts an aggressive series of emojis.
And look, emojis speak louder than words sometimes. Sometimes, a well-placed heart or sparkle is better than some convoluted, wordy caption. But Britney seemingly chooses emojis at random, and we don't know what kind of message she's sending. Take this stream of heels and red lipstick one as an example. Like we don't know if you're wearing heels there. That looks like fairly unpigmented lip gloss. What are you doing? Ilu.
When she posted this kind of off Father's Day message.
Everything about this feels weirdly pieced together. She hijacked a bland but nice inspirational message from MyBible and then shot out a generic "Happy Father's Day message" to no one in particular. Unless she is trying to subtlely say she's literally a She-Jesus. #godney
When she Instagrammed some slightly aesthetic paninis like your high school friend Katie does every time she goes to Dublin House.
"That's all folks" is actually a good summation of what's happening here. Because really, that's all, folks. It's just a picture of two heart shaped paninis.
This entire adorable summary of her girls day out with her niece.
Found out my niece was in Vegas…. and couldn't contain myself! . . . We had a bubble gum chant before the show with miss Lexie ❤️ ❤️ . . Then it was showtime 😜😜😜😜 . . The next morning it was so hot, we literally couldn’t see 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 . . Then we saw these pretty flowers on the ceiling 🌸 . . And umbrellas and butterflies . . We also got a glimpse of some koi fish . . Then we finished the day with our mad painting skills 😜😍😍😍😍😍 . . What a great day 😎😎😎😎
Every part of this is precious emoji-punctuated story is adorable, down to when Britney and Lexie do art together and their paintings look identical.
When Brit and her son laughed at this headline.
Also we're still obsessed with the fact that Britney keeps up with her anime, amazing.
This post, which is so weird and vague and doesn't really make sense?
"The imagination in books is astounding." Like, the imagination people put into books? And which books, Brit? War & Peace? Wuthering Heights? The Cat and the Hat? Do tell what's on your Kindle right now.
When she regrammed three random tomatos that Cameron Diaz had posted 47 weeks before.
LOL WUT WHY. And how great is it that she shares her opinions on There's Something About Mary and yellow tomatos, all at once?
When she told us all that adventures are gr8.
Yeah they are, Britney. Yeah, they are.
When Britney shared her opinion on art school, I don't...
Like did Britney go to RISD at some point and graduate feeling really enlightened, or...?
When she was all of Charlie's Angels, maybe.
That seems to be what she's implying, but who knows anymore.
And finally, when she posted random Minions jokes like your racist aunt on Facebook.
She had to, you guys. She had to.