10 Things Wrong With “Boy Meets World” Star Maitland Ward’s Naked (Like Really, Really Naked) “Outfits”

“When this Girl Meets World…Girl Meets World. Wandering down this road, without any clothes, is what she’s doin’…”

Back then, you knew her as bubbly Rachel McGuire on Boy Meets World. Today, you know her as Maitland Ward, a woman incapable of hiding her lady lumps.

(WARNING: These are two “outfits” the 37-year-old actually wore to an event last night and she’s, well, naked, so you’re going to see all that jazz. Enjoy.)

1. She looks like she’s auditioning for the third part of “The Matrix Re-Entered”

A porn parody of “The Matrix” (and, yes, apparently there are already two other films, so this would be a brilliant ending to the trilogy).

2. The most concerning part about this outfit isn’t that she’s not wearing a bra…

It’s that her nipples are more than likely chafed and we’re in pain just looking at this photo.

3. Does she realize this looks like unfortunate pubic hair?

Really long and unfortunate pubic hair?

4. Why are there so many conveniently placed triangles?

What is the point when you’ve already showed off your lady bits to the masses? And why do we now want to go to our nearest Ground Round (do those exist anymore?) and play Tricky Triangle?

5. We have no words.

And that never happens because we love words.

6. IS THIS A JOKE?

::shudders:: ::cringes:: ::trembles:: ::shakes:: ::does any type of movement out of fear::

7. She actually looks pretty from the neck up…

Rachel McGuire, you were always a babe.

8. …but it’s unfortunate this mASShap occurred.

Because you forget she’s actually pretty.

9. Sorry. A pretty backdrop doesn’t make this classy.

It actually makes us want to jump in that pool and stay underwater so we don’t have to look at this hot mess.

10. Rachel McGuire would have never worn something like this.

Sure, she would have worn belly-baring shirts or just a towel, but there’s no way — not even for a second — our beloved redhead would even think of wearing something so heinous.

BONUS: Unfortunately, this is hardly the first time Maitland’s gone the “too sexy so it’s not sexy” route.

#BRINGBACKRACHELMCGUIRE

(And someone please reach out to Cory and Topanga Matthews for an intervention.)