12 Hilarious Posts Dr. House Would Share If He Was on Instagram

When a patient refuses to cooperate.

House: My dumb patient won’t let me chop off his leg so I can save his life. #whatanidiot



Cameron: You can’t really blame the guy… Losing a leg is a big deal.



House: @allisoncameron nobody asked you, Mother Theresa.

When House feels the need to share how he really feels about his best friend's girlfriend.

House: What does one do when his best friend falls for the spawn of Satan?



Amber: You're pathetic.



House: @ambervolakis and you're ugly.

When he realizes just how attractive the people on his team are.

House: They’re like the real life Barbie and Ken… Except Ken has a pretty accent and Barbie doesn’t know the meaning of fun.



Cameron: What? Of course I know the meaning of fun.. I had extra ice cream last night.

When House decides to stalk his employees because he wants to avoid doing his work.

House: Oh look, it’s tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber! Hoping they’ll get into a fist fight, I could use some entertainment.



Wilson: Quit wasting time and get to your patient, House!

When a colleague happens to snap a photo at the perfect time.

House: Only @lisacuddy can get away with trying to rip my heart out.



Foreman: Joke's on her, because you don't have one.



House: Takes one without a heart to know one, loser.

When he suspects that something is up with his team.

House: So @drforeman and @luckythirteen, how long have you two been boning each other?



Foreman: You're ridiculous, House.



Thirteen: You got that from one photo of us trying to diagnose a patient?

When he captures the perfect photo for an awkward sexual reference.

House: Fun fact: We all had an orgy after we took this photo… It was magical.



Taub: This is the most disgusting thing I’ve read all day.



Thirteen: Hmm… I’d be down to try it. 🙂

When someone from his team actually defeats him at something.

House: Prepare for a rematch, you twerp. Loser has to deal with the next patient.



Taub: BRING IT ON!

When his team falls short and disappoints him.

House: Sometimes I forget why I hired these minions. They only look pretty (except for
Forman).



Cuddy: Those minions are the reason why most of your patients are still alive.



House: Really? Could’ve sworn that was all me.

When he dreads having to spend time with his patients.

House: Love to bond with my patients!



Cuddy: You actually look annoyed…



House: Good job, Cuddy! You're very observant.

When he's feeling bored on the job.

House: Is it just me, or does @marthamasters have the face of a chipmunk?



Dr. Masters: Um.. Dr. House, this is kind of creepy. I had NO idea you took this photo.



Taub: @marthamasters this is just the tip of the iceberg. You'll get used to House.

When he's feeling fashionable.

House: I always thought I had a natural talent for modeling.



Cuddy: Not bad!!



Foreman: Eh… You should stick to medicine.

12 Dr. House Quotes That Make Hilarious Inspirational Posters