The secret to a happy marriage? According to Real Housewives of New Jersey star Joe Gorga: Have more sex. He credits a physical connection for a lot of the fulfillment he and his wife, Melissa, have in their relationship. The reality star divulged some very intimate details about him and his longtime love during the Growth with Gorga Seminar to promote his book, The Gorga Guide to Success.

“Respect. That’s the top. You know, really the top is you got to still be dating … You got to date your spouse. I never say I’m married, she’s my girlfriend!” he exclusively told Life & Style during the event. “Every day I still call my wife up and I tell her sexy things every day. I treat her like my girlfriend and I can keep it real.”

Joe and melissa gorga marriage
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The last thing you’ll ever catch Joe and Melissa in is a sexual rut. He explained, “A lot of people you hear say, ‘Oh, we had kids. We stopped the sex. We stopped this, we’re married, we’re not supposed to do that anymore.’ No, you’re just destroying your marriage right there, you know? So you just got to love each other. Respect and keep the sex alive because that’s an important thing.”

The contractor is not shy about the fact that he highly prioritizes the physical aspect of his relationship. When asked if intercourse was how he keeps the spark alive, he responded, “Sex is the most important thing because once you stop having sex, you know, and I don’t mean that in like just being like a sexual guy. It’s true. I mean intimacy is the best.”

RHONJ Melissa and Joe Gorga family
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He continued, “I mean, think about when you first meet somebody, it’s all you do is have sex, right? Because you’re into each other and your close. Same thing when you married. I mean, you know, I see my friends and I always give an example of friends not having sex.”

Thanks for the bedroom tips, Joe!