Bye, Paradise! After a heartbreaking split from Nicole Lopez-Alvar, contestant Clay Harbor wrote a lengthy post reflecting on everything he learned during his stay on the beach. The couple broke things off on decision day because the football player admitted that he wasn’t ready to say that he was in love with her or to move in together. The Miami babe replied by saying that she didn’t want to be with someone who was unsure about their feelings for her and walked away.

NICOLE LOPEZ-ALVAR Bachelor in Paradise Finale
ABC/John Fleenor

Paradise, where to start.. I can honestly say I learned so much about myself and even though it was such an emotionally difficult time I’m glad I experienced it,” he began in a caption on Instagram on September 17.

He continued, “I could have done so many things better throughout this journey but I believe everything happens for a reason and it helped me to grow as a person.” Clay and Nicole were an item through most of Paradise, but a few things rattled them along the way.

The biggest hiccup came when the athlete’s ex Angela Amezcua joined the cast. Although he had never dropped the L-bomb during his romance with the brunette beauty, her presence made it clear that their breakup was still very fresh. Angela ended up hitting it off with Chase McNary, which opened the door back up for Clay and Nicole. However, his feelings just weren’t able to get where she needed them to be.

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Paradise, where to start.. I can honestly say I learned so much about myself and even though it was such an emotionally difficult time I’m glad I experienced it. . I could have done so many things better throughout this journey but I believe everything happens for a reason and it helped me to grow as a person. I made some memories that will last a lifetime and friends that will last just as long. I want to thank everyone for the support it means a lot. . I took this opportunity very seriously and looking back I could have done things differently. Unfortunately I didn’t see myself getting engaged after 16 days of exclusive dating and I wanted to be 100% truthful with my feelings even though I knew there was a chance my truth wouldn’t get the outcome I wanted. I wish nothing but the best for Nicole and understand her position as well. Also I have nothing but love for my paradise cast members and will always look back at my time on that beach fondly. #bachelorinparadise #bachelornation

A post shared by Clay Harbor (@clayharbs82) on

He didn’t find love, but not all was lost. “I made some memories that will last a lifetime and friends that will last just as long. I want to thank everyone for the support it means a lot,” Clay added. “I took this opportunity very seriously and looking back I could have done things differently.”

Nicole wasn’t able to continue her relationship with the former contestant from Becca Kufrin‘s season because he wasn’t able to say “I love you” by decision day. Clay doesn’t seem to regret his decision and made a little jab about the timeframe he was expected to fall head-over-heels. “Unfortunately I didn’t see myself getting engaged after 16 days of exclusive dating and I wanted to be 100 [percent] truthful with my feelings even though I knew there was a chance my truth wouldn’t get the outcome I wanted,” he explained.

He closed out the post by wishing his ex the best. “I wish nothing but the best for Nicole and understand her position as well. Also, I have nothing but love for my paradise cast members and will always look back at my time on that beach fondly,” Clay gushed.

Good luck out there, dude!