Jordan Kimball Is Not Here for Hannah B.’s Return to Peter’s Season: ‘The Beast Must Go!’

Welcome to Life & Style’s weekly recap of Peter Weber‘s season of The Bachelor with fan-favorite, Jordan Kimball! Jordan rose to fame as the gold speedo-clad “pensive gentleman” on Becca Kufrin‘s season of The Bachelorette, and continued to capture fans’ hearts on seasons 5 and 6 of Bachelor in Paradise. Each week, he’ll be spilling his (very) honest thoughts and opinions on Peter, his contestants, and all of the drama that goes down in season 24 exclusively here at Life & Style! 

Here we go! Peter’s season of The Bachelor is here, and we are covering it in depth right here, right now. Starting with the opening packages.

The Opening Packages

Kelley from Chicago girl has mom vibes. She met Pete at a wedding, and they danced out there on that empty lobby floor. It was a great package to let us in on the fact that she and Pete met before coming on the season.

Madison is the new Tia. Not only can she sink a 3 pointer, but she arrived as a plane. Well played!

Maurissa is a sweetheart who has been body-shamed and overcame it, so I’m really hoping she soars this season.

Moving on from the opening packages and onward to limo entrances! Let’s see what these ladies are made of.

The Limo Entrances

Peter says he’s over Hannah Brown, at least for now, am I right? Here come his ladies!

Alayah was an excellent first entrance into the mansion … very graceful. We need more of her!

Sydney from Alabama shades Hannah B. upon entrance and I’m here for it.

Hannah Ann enters and Pete says he’s in trouble. (We get it.) She says she’s in love upon meeting Pete …  like actually, or is this just for the audience?

Lauren from California comes in and seems very relatable and kind.

Victoria P. has faced adversity in her life and will really excel in this house.

Eunice shows up in angel wings and it’s the first costume entrance we’ve seen of an angel … so we know she’s far from an angel.

Two limos down, and we could staff a few flights. There are lots of employees in the aviation field. (The flight puns are endless.)

Lexi comes in sexy. She’s too dangerous for Pete.

A windmill named Deandra blew in.

Did someone bring condoms? Where’s her sense of humor? That’s sick.

Ashley P.‘s pal Jenna and Blake Horstmann should date! They both like livestock.

The blindfolded kiss and bondage entrance are probably Pete’s favorite entrances.

And hello, Alabama Hannah! Both are speechless standing in front of the mansion and this is understandable if closure is needed, but, like, it’s not …

It was really sweet of her to bring the wings back. I actually liked that. The house needs to chill, but if they don’t, then that’s OK, too. The opening speech immediately starts with the name Hannah.

It’s been a really sweet start to the season so far. Now, let’s get started on the one-on-one moments! “Can I steal you away” for a dive into this?!?!

One-on-One Moments

Alayah is the first entrance and one on one. She will be major, and the letter from her grandmother Rosemary was so impressive. Ughhh, and she’s blushing.

Where’s Victoria’s one-on-one time?!

Tammy appears to be drunk and that kiss was so not romantic. Yuck.

Natasha might kidnap Peter — nevermind, Mykenna saves the day and gets a kiss in front of the fire.

Victoria P. steals Pete and compliments Victoria F. and is so classy. I’ve been waiting for this! There’s a lack of eye contact though — be more vulnerable, Victoria P. She’s never gotten a flower before. Maybe she’s lying. Now I’m sad.

Kelley is sweeping in and catching up with her newfound dance partner Pete. He’s into her, and she’s onto a great start to her journey.

Pete says he has hope he met his wife tonight, just because we needed to hear it.

But who is the villain?!?!?! There are a few in the running right now!

The House Villain

Hannah Ann steals Pete from Deandra for a second round. OK, Hannah Ann might be the villain … she’s already talked to him three times, but Pete’s feeling it. It’s hard to read this one.

I’m very pensive writing this right now … or will Hannah Ann just be on the defense? I need answers. Wait, is Hannah Ann the girl version of me? She’s shutting these ladies down.

Now, we’ve got a little bit of drama and catty comments, small friend groups forming, and I’m losing some steam. Can we give out this First Impression Rose, please?!

The First Impression Rose

After Chris Harrison brings out the First Impression Rose, all eyes are on it. Peter ends up giving it to Hannah Ann, making her even more of a target for the villain. I’m predicting that the southern belle will be given a hard time by the mean girls. Now, Hannah and Pete are making out! Yep, I’m right on this one. Calling it.

Hannah Ann is the frontrunner at the moment and is receiving the first rose and, more importantly, the symbolism of the best first impression. What chemistry they have, oh my!

The First Rose Ceremony

OK, here we go. Pete’s leading the ladies into the first rose ceremony! Several of the first roses are fairly predictable. How many girls will go home, and who will be left to win Pete’s heart? I’m not really a blogger guy, but I’m accurately giving you my insight as it’s happening.

And the final rose goes to … Victoria F! Which was a slight surprise to me. And Maurissa went home. Wow. Katrina cried, and here we go, folks. Night one, done.

But there’s still drama ahead.

The First Group Date

Peter then went on his first group date on day two, and I’m officially having flashbacks from The Bachelorette. Being on the first group date is a really good thing, so if you’re on that, just show up and shine!

Pete’s flying a plane because he’s a pilot. Tammy still seems drunk, I swear.

We’ve got some good girls on this trip. Pete knows what he’s doing!

Simple math has never been so intimidating. I’m really enjoying this date as a viewer. “Flying dirty” is the cool new lingo I picked up. Victoria P. has motion sickness and my palms are sweating for her.

We’ve got competition and the trophy is a sunset flight with Pete. Is every date going to involve aviation? I’m not avi-hatin’.

Kelley and Hannah Ann are tied for frontrunner right now, in my eyes.

Madison got the one-on-one date and I saw it coming. This season is so genuine though, that I can’t not like it, even if I see it coming! It’s a love train, baby.

Madison’s One on One

They even threw in Pete’s bro for this date! America, you wanted this and they delivered. We’ve got vulnerable moments, laughs and ice-breaking moments. Pete’s parents are very relatable, and this is a very sweet moment. Vow renewals are a license to (good) cry and party! I’m into it.

I just turned down an espresso shot, so y’all were wrong about boring Pete so far.

Madison has Pete’s attention, but he’s living in the moment. This date will always be remembered and that’s beautiful, but she’s cautious. I’ve got mixed signals on how fast this will move … she wants him, but also wants to be the best for him, and if she’s not, then she’s willing to let him go. This date just turned into a “late-night drive with the windows down, blaring The Weeknd” kinda vibe.

Kelley, Hannah Ann and Madison are at the top this far, don’t argue it, it’s practically a fact. They end the date with a classic slow country song and a two-step slow dance … very on-brand for The Bachelor. The family just joined, and it’s now clear that the franchise has cheated every Bachelor before Pete.

This season is too perfect — there must be a storm ahead. There’s gotta be, and I’m not trying to manifest it … I’m just not a believer in perfection. (Not with a house full of ladies waiting and the overall competitive nature of this program.) Oh, the previews just showed and yeah, it’s dramatic AF!

Hannah B.’s Return

Who approved Hannah B. to come back?! I’m cringing at this point. Publicly talking about their experience actually isn’t OK to me. Could Pete get up there and do the same?!?! OK, sex talk … like we need this … I’m actually disappointed with this now. We went from family time to just being straight nasty. Jesus still loves you, Hannah, we get it.

Hannah Beast crying is the storm I was talking about — the hurricane that came from the warm waters of the gulf. And, it looks like an oil spill on her face right now! Get waterproof mascara, girl. You’re in L.A. now, not Alabama.

She can not come on this season … Pete, she does not question her decision all the time. This is silly, awkward and just emotionally illegal.

Did she just name drop Jed on Pete’s season?! OMG. Seriously, someone get Hannah Beast an influencer code for mascara.

This is like the meme from The Notebook that everyone uses on Instagram: “What do you want?!”

Pete, you said you were over The Beast! Don’t let her get the beast of you!

This is killing me, and the date was ruined and now she’s just sitting and crushing the morale of the house. Ughhhhhhhhh. Overall, Pete, you ultimately know what you want but don’t be naive, please. Hannah missed out on you.

Final Thoughts

The Bachelor premiere had an awful ending, but everything before was just right. The Beast must go, but the lad needs to sendeth her home.

The Bachelor airs at 8 p.m. Monday nights on ABC. You can learn all about Pete here, get to know his gorgeous contestants here, and if you can’t wait till the end of the season, you can see all the spoilers here. Check back weekly for all of Jordan Kimball’s Bachelor guest blogs!