It’s been a struggle. Duchess Meghan opened up about what the past year has been like as a newly minted royal and confessed that she now understands why her friends warned her against marrying Prince Harry. The Suits actress has had a difficult time with the intense scrutiny that comes with being a member of the royal family. She got very candid during an interview in the documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, which aired in the U.K. on October 20.

“It’s hard. I don’t think anybody could understand that,” the 38-year-old began to explain to ITV News at Ten anchor Tom Bradby. “In all fairness, I had no idea, which probably sounds difficult to understand and hear. But when I first met my now-husband, my friends were really happy because I was so happy but my British friends said to me, ‘I’m sure he’s great but you shouldn’t do it because the British tabloids will destroy your life.'”

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Struggles of British Tabloids

Although the California native heard the warning from her pals, she didn’t quite comprehend the weight of what this new chapter would bring. “And I very naively — I’m American. We don’t have that there — [I said,] ‘What are you talking about? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m not in any tabloids.’ I didn’t get it,” she admitted. “So it’s been, yeah, it’s been complicated.”

Meghan and Harry started dating in 2016 and tied the knot on May 19, 2018. They welcomed their first child, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, almost one year later, on May 6, 2019. It’s been a whirlwind year and it’s amazing to see how real Meghan is about the struggles that come with her unique position.

“The biggest thing that I know is that I never thought that this would be easy but I thought it would be fair. And that’s the part that’s really hard to reconcile but, I don’t know, just take each day as it comes,” she added about the way she is portrayed in the press.

Prince Harry and Meghan Duchess of Sussex visit to Africa Meghan Says Her Friends Warned Her

Things may get difficult but the brunette beauty is still smitten over her family. “And I think the grass is always greener. You have no idea. It’s really hard to understand what it’s like. I know what it seems like it should be. It’s a very different thing. That’s OK,” she noted. “The good thing is I’ve got my baby and I’ve got my husband and they’re the best.”

A source divulged exclusively to Life & Style that Meghan and Harry, 35, are head-over-heels for their precious baby boy. “She treasures every moment she spends with Archie, who is the most adorable, happy, sweet-natured baby. Harry and Meghan say they couldn’t have asked for a more perfect son,” the insider gushed.

We’re here for you, Meghan!