I was only six years old in 1997 — the year that *NSYNC dropped their self-titled album and the Spice Girls spiced up my life with Spiceworld. I was too young to know about fan fiction, and definitely too young to know about sex… That being said, if I was just a little bit older, I’m pretty sure I would’ve written fan fiction about all my pop music idols getting together — to make music and to make babies. Bumping jams and bumping uglies. You get it.
And this week — as if I wasn’t verklempt enough about my boys finally getting their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame — Justin Timberlake casually mentioned that my wildest, prepubescent fantasy is true. On an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, JT, Joey, Chris, JC, and Lance played “Never Have I Ever” — and when asked about if they had ever been intimate with a Spice Girl, all the guys turned their paddles to “I Have Never” — with the exception of my man Justin Timberlake. And now I won’t rest until I know which Spice Girl rocked his body.
I mean, I have so many questions; did the other ladies approve? If they taught me anything in life, it is that if you want to be one’s lover, you have to get with her friends — so I really hope he was a gentlemen to the other ladies. Was it serious? Or was it — as some may say — no strings attached?!
But seriously, if you thought I wasn’t going to use my journalism degree to do serious investigative work to solve this mystery — stop right now, thank you very much! I will let you know where to send my Pullitzer.
For starters, we have to consider when JT was single. He’s been married since 2012, but was first linked to his now-wife, Jessica Biel, in 2007. Much to my teenage dismay, he wasn’t single very often; according to our research into Justin Timberlake’s relationship history, he was sort of a serial dater who made time for a lot of hookups. Before Jess, his most significant relationships were with Cameron Diaz (from 2003 to 2006) and, before that, Britney Spears (from 1999 to 2002). While this means his hookup with this anonymous Spice Girl could’ve happened in the early to mid 2000s, we’re guessing it was in the ‘90s — because, let’s be real, we’re talking about a Boy Band/Girl Band power couple here! And if I’m writing this IRL fan fiction… It most definitely happened in the ’90s, as his bleach-blonde curls got caught in her butterfly clips.
So which Spice Girl was it? It’s unlikely it’s Mel C. — aka Sporty Spice — who was linked to Robbie Williams and Anthony Kiedis around the same time. We’re also ruling out Victoria Beckham, the incredible Posh Spice, because she briefly dated Corey Haim (we know, weird) before settling down with her now-husband, David Beckham, by 1997. Mel B. — Scary, duh — is also out of the running because she came on the scene with a businessman beau before moving on with a dancer during the “Spiceworld” tour.
So that leaves the unequivocal Geri Halliwell — aka Ginger Spice, and, briefly, the destoyer of my childhood dreams; and Emma Bunton — the Chupa Chups-eating, pigtail-wearing Baby Spice. So who did Justin Timberlake ~become one with~ that faithful night in the ‘90s?!
None of other Baby Spice. How do we know? Well… She admitted in 2004.
Clearly the faces of two people keeping a secret!
The two were linked in the press way back in the day — almost two decades before Justin went on the record on Ellen — though Emma claimed they were “just friends” at the time. During a 2004 interview with Jonathan Ross, she came clean that they were, at the very least, Friends With Benefits (which is, by far, the superior movie about friends who casually hookup and then fall in love, don’t @ me).
“We hung out and partied a bit,” Emma admitted of Justin. “And he was very sweet. He spoke about this first, or else I would not have said anything.”
Well, Em! He spoke about it again!!! Now is your chance to spill the tea! Make it right in the world! As Justin Timberlake said best… What goes around, comes around, comes around, comes all the way back around! Don’t let us down!